Till Kingdom Come
by nightisneon
Summary: What if Chuck left New York after “Hi, Society” in Season 1? Nearly 10 years later a death brings everyone on the Upper East Side back together. There are lingering feelings between Chuck and Blair, but will they be able to find a way back to each other?
1. Eyes On Fire

**This is my very first fanfic! So, I'd appreciate some honest feedback!**

**Summary: What if Chuck left New York after "Hi, Society" in Season 1? Nearly 10 years later a death brings everyone on the Upper East Side back together. There are lingering feelings between Chuck and Blair, but will they be able to find their way back to each other after so much time?**

**Note: From time to time I use dialogue and scenes from the first season of Gossip Girl (in italics). I don't mean to infringe on copyrighted materials. I recognize that these characters and some dialogue are property of Josh Schwartz and the Gossip Girl writing staff. I just want to put my own little twist on things :)**

**The title is from the Coldplay song, "Till Kingdom Come." I'm a serious music lover and each chapter will also have the name of a song as a title. The first chapter is "Eyes On Fire" after the song by Blue Foundation.**

**I want to say thanks to Ellie, my wonderful beta, for all her advice and encouragement.**

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**Chapter 1 – Eyes On Fire**

"_I know you don't want to talk about it…" _

"_Relief… I feel relief. You know I've got moves." I replied._

"_Really?" He leaned closer to me. "Then why don't you get up there?" He smirked._

_I giggled in response, "I'm just saying I have moves."_

_He brushed my shoulder playfully, "Come on, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls."_

"_I know what you're doing, Bass." I sighed, swirling the bubbling champagne in my glass gently._

_Then I looked him directly in the eye, "You really don't think I'll go up there?"_

"_I know you won't do it," he declared smugly._

_This kind of stunt was more typical of pre-reformed Serena, not behavior befitting Blair Waldorf. But that look in his eyes and the way he truly believed I wouldn't get up on that stage nagged at me for reasons I didn't really understand._

_I was going to prove Chuck Bass wrong._

_So I ordered Chuck to guard my drink and quickly climbed up stage steps in my black patent Louboutins. _

_The music blasted as I swayed my hips and tossed my yellow satin headband to the cheering crowd. I slowly unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor. With my arms raised above my head I showed the club-goers my sexiest dance moves._

_If only my mother knew that an Eleanor Waldorf original was tossed on the dirty floor in a burlesque club._

_Though in that moment, I didn't care. I didn't care about what Eleanor Waldorf or the Archibald's wanted or expected from me. I didn't think about the girls at school that worshipped me one moment and then tossed me to the side again whenever Serena stole the spotlight. And for the first time in my life I didn't care about what Nate wanted._

_I was finally free._

_The crowd went wild as I slowly dipped down and twisted the long strands of pearls through my fingers._

_That's when I saw him, staring back at me with a wicked smile spread across his lips and dark mystified eyes._ _He raised his glass to me as I continued to shake my assets in my cream colored negligee garnering more hoots and hollers from the club goers._

_After my striptease Chuck and I drank and laughed together until we finally stumbled out on the streets in the early hours of the morning. His limo was ready and waiting and we slid in the back on the dark leather seats._

"_Thanks for the lift home." I said as I laid my head back on the cool leather._

"_You were amazing up there." He declared as he stared back at me with those dark eyes again._

_It was then that I looked at Chuck Bass… truly looked at him._

_Chuck had been my friend since pre-school, and I'd seen those rich, chocolate eyes plot devious plans and seduce half the female population of Manhattan. But I'd never really looked at him like this._

_I slid across the back seat closer to him. I didn't think about what I was doing, the same way I didn't fully think about hopping up on the stage. It was like we were two magnets and I was being pulled closer and closer to him by forces unseen. We were so close that I could feel his warm breath on my face and then my lips brushed against his. _

_It was a slow kiss but there was something so different about the way our lips seemed to melt together, no other kiss had ever felt so right._

_I leaned in, kissing him further. _

_I pulled back and he looked at me with those dark eyes again._

"_Are you sure?" He asked._

_I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, all I knew was that kissing Chuck Bass was amazing, and I fully intended to experience it again._

_So I pressed my lips against his. He kissed back hungrily. He tasted like a mix of scotch, cigarettes, and something sweet that I just couldn't place. __I wrapped my arm around his neck and he pulled me closer as our tongues danced together._ _His hands were everywhere, his lips were everywhere and the few articles of clothing I had left were quickly disappearing._ _He suckled my bottom lip and slipped one of his hands between my thighs._

"_Chuck…" I begged pushing up against his hand…_

"Mommy! Mommy!" I was awoken from my dreams of sexcapades past by a flurry of sandy blonde curls jumping up and down on my bed.

"Bella! Baby, what's wrong?" I quickly sat up in bed as my daughter jumped in to my arms.

"Nothing's wrong, Mommy. Dorota says breakfast is ready." She grinned up at me.

"Oh, okay baby, but don't scare Mommy like that again. I thought something bad had happened." I kissed her forehead softly and she let out a little giggle.

I set her down on the ground and quickly slipped my La Perla silk robe on over my nightgown. I smoothed my curls down quickly before picking my giggling little girl up again and carrying her down the stairs to the dining room.

"Are you excited about the last day of preschool before winter break?" I asked pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"I'm so excited!" She squealed and explained to me the fun activities her teachers had planned for the day. I sat her down in her chair gently.

"Good morning, Ms. Blair," Dorota greeted as she placed my traditional fruit and yogurt plate at my place at the table.

"Good morning Dorota." I smiled back as I sat down to enjoy my breakfast.

I heard the door unlock and heavy footsteps made their way down the hallway.

"Good morning ladies!" my husband's familiar voice boomed.

"Daddy!" Bella exclaimed as he walked over to her and kissed her cheek. He walked over to me next placing a tender kiss on my forehead. He was sweaty from his morning run and his cheeks were flushed from the early winter air.

He took his usual seat as Dorota placed his breakfast before him.

"Oh, thank you, Dorota." Nate smiled taking a big bite of his omelet.

"Of course, Mr. Nate. I hope you had nice run in park." Dorota replied in her broken English, finally settling in her seat next to Bella.

"Oh it was great." Nate replied.

And there we sat, my dearest Dorota happily eating her oatmeal alongside my sandy haired husband and daughter. We were a perfect little family. But visions of wild nights past flooded back as I remembered my dream. I rubbed my temples, hoping to shake the images away.

"Blair, sweetheart are you okay?" Nate eyed me closely, a worried expression on his face.

"Oh I'm fine, honey, I'm just dreading going into the office. I have to meet with some new buyers from Bergdorf's today." I quickly lied and popped a few blueberries in my mouth.

"I'm sure you'll have no problem charming them." He smiled.

Before I could say anything back the sharp ring of a cellphone interrupted me.

"Hello?" Nate answered quickly.

"Oh, good morning, Serena," He continued.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked as his forehead creased in concern.

I started to panic at his questions. What if something happened to the baby?

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Please express my condolences to the whole family."

I felt relief at Nate's last statement. At least Serena and her baby were fine.

"Do you want to talk to Blair?" He nodded at her response and handed me his Blackberry.

"Serena? What's wrong?" I rapidly questioned her.

"I tried to call your cell but it went straight to voicemail," she explained, her voice shaky.

"I must have forgotten to plug it in last night, but that's not important, S, what's going on? It is Dan, is he alright?" I asked anxious for her response.

"No, Blair, Dan's fine. It's Bart… he had a heart attack last night. He... he didn't make it." I heard her sniffle.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Do you need me to come over?"

"I couldn't ask you to do that, B. You have that meeting today, you've been talking about it for weeks now." She responded.

"S, my mother and Laurel can handle the buyers, they'll certainly understand." I sighed. My mother would certainly be irritated, but she would get over it, especially considering the circumstances.

"Oh, B, could you?" I could hear her crying quietly now.

"Of course, I'll be there as soon as I can." I assured her.

"Thank you so much, Blair, I don't know what I would do without you."

"S, you're my best friend, you know I'd do anything for you." I replied before telling her goodbye and handing Nate back his trusty Blackberry.

"I take it you'll be with Serena all day?" he asked.

"Of course," I replied and started to get up from my seat.

"Wow, Bart Bass died. I thought the guy was indestructible." Nate declared shaking his head.

"You know, I should really give Chuck a call." He continued.

My stomach did flip-flops at the mention of his name.

Flustered, I replied, "Nate, you've barely spoken to Chuck for ten years now."

"I know, B, but he was my best friend once. He's the closest thing to a brother I've ever had. I feel like I need to reach out to him." He answered, quickly scrolling through the numbers in his address book.

"You're right, give him a call." I sighed before heading out of the room and up the stairs.

I stood in my bathroom and felt an old familiar urge to make myself sick. 'No, Blair!' I mentally scolded myself. The mere mention of Chuck Bass's name was not going to turn me back into the insecure teenager I used to be.

But I could feel something, a familiar burning inside of me long hidden away after all these years.

I would have to face those dark eyes of his.

After all this time I was really going to see Chuck Bass again.


	2. Bring It On Back

**Hey everyone! I got a bunch of notifications telling me that people were adding "Till Kingdom Come" to their story alerts, but I only got a couple a reviews. Please review! I really enjoy getting your feedback!**

**Thanks again to my wonderful beta!**

**And thanks to Jet for their song, "Bring It On Back," which served as my soundtrack while writing this chapter.**

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**Till Kingdom Come**

**"Bring It On Back" - Chapter 2**

_There she sat on a bed by herself on her seventeenth birthday. She should have been celebrating, but instead she had tears in her eyes. Yet again, Nathaniel had disappointed her._

_He was a fool. He was a fool to ever sleep with Serena behind her back. He was a fool to take her for granted. And he was a fool not to want her._

"_I'm not in the mood, Chuck." She said coldly as I walked into the room, her birthday gift hidden behind my back._

"_This is pretty much the worst birthday ever." She sat up, smoothing out her black dress with her perfectly manicured fingers._

"_Maybe it can be salvaged," I replied, as I revealed the black gift box I'd been concealing and sat down beside her on the bed._

"_What is that, our sex tape?" She frowned, her ruby lips forming the perfect pout._

_I smirked, opening the box to reveal the diamond necklace she'd placed on reserve._

"_It's the Erickson Beamon necklace." She declared, her shock clearly visible on her face. I removed the necklace from the gift box and moved to place it around her neck._

"_No, I couldn't," She protested._

"_Yes, you can" I insisted, gently laying the necklace against her soft skin and fastening the clasp at the back._

"_Something this beautiful deserves to be seen on someone worthy of its beauty. I really am sorry." I said as I adjusted the necklace. She grasped my hand in hers and our fingers intertwined._

_I kissed her shoulder, and we sat there in silence for a few moments before I gently kissed her on the lips._

_She eagerly kissed me back and slipped her hot little tongue into my mouth._

_Blair, the little minx, pushed me down on the bed and straddled my hips. _

"_Chuck…" she purred in my ear._

"Chuck…" My eyes flashed open to see a giggling blonde propped on her elbow, staring at me intently.

"What time is it?" I snapped.

"It's nearly noon." She replied in her thick British accent and yawned.

"Are you kidding?" My head was throbbing from the amount of alcohol I'd consumed the night before.

"I'm not kidding, darling." She whispered in my ear.

"Out!" I ordered sitting up quickly.

"What? Chuck? I thought we could have tea?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Anna, I'm not really a tea and crumpets kind of guy. We had a fantastic night, but now show yourself out. I have business to attend to," I explained, jumping out of bed and opening the door for her. I was eager for her to leave, intent on getting a shower and getting dressed quickly before my flight.

"Hannah, my name's Hannah." She glared at me with a pair of emerald green eyes.

"Hannah, whatever your name is, out!" I shouted.

"But Chuck…" She pouted.

"Out! Now!" I ordered, the concept of a one-night stand seemed to be entirely lost on her.

"Asshole!" She yelled back, quickly throwing her clothes on before heading out the door.

Once she was gone I was finally free to take that shower and prepare for the trip home.

Home, that was funny; it'd been ten years since I'd actually called New York City home.

I'd left half way through my junior year to live in Monaco at one of the resorts my father owned. I left my father a note, but I never really said goodbye to anyone, not even Nathaniel.

Nate was my best friend, he had been since pre-school, but he was the one that had ruined it all. He stole her away from me. Okay, so technically she was never officially mine. Technically, she had been Nate's girl long before she surrendered her "virtue," as she had once called it, to me in the back of my limo.

After that night we had been meeting in secret, to carry on a secret affair. Blair was the only girl I had ever respected, I ever viewed as an equal, I had ever…. no, I couldn't bring myself to finish that. I was Chuck Bass, and Chuck Bass loved women. But he had never loved any one particular woman.

_There she was. Her usual flowing chestnut curls pulled back in an updo. She was wearing the diamond necklace I'd given her for her birthday, and she was walking intently towards me in her stunning silver cotillion gown. She looked pissed, but who could blame her? Nathaniel, her "perfect" cotillion escort, had been thrown out for getting into a fistfight with that bastard Carter Baizen. The whole situation was a result of my scheming; I just had to get Nate out of the way so I could have Blair all to myself._

"_Have you seen Nate?" She asked._

"_Nate was asked to leave, but here I am." I grinned, pulling her closer to me and we began to dance. She looked into my eyes, and I could practically see the gears of her mind turning._

"_I know that look, it's the look you have when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. You knew Carter was going to my house. You tipped off Gossip Girl. You ruined my cotillion on purpose." I could see the anger start to course through her. Damn, that girl was just too good at reading me. Blair took a deep breath and pulled away from me._

"_You did all of this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me. Which is exactly why you and I can never work," She declared, a look of pure hatred and disgust marring her perfect features._

"_Please, slow down there, Waldorf." I pulled her back to me, wanting to crush my lips against hers and breathe her in._

"_You make me sick." She pulled away from me again._

"_This thing between us is over for good!" She spat angrily as she began to walk away. _

"_Blair, wait, I didn't mean…" I started._

"_Don't talk to me!" She snapped, making a swift exit from the room with the sound of her stilettos clicking across the floor._

"_Blair!" I shouted, causing a few of the couples on the dance floor to stare and snicker._

_I thought it would be best to give her a couple of minutes to calm down. I grabbed a drink, but my hands were too shaky to hold the glass. I had to find her. I had to explain._

_I went looking for her. Going out to the hallway, I bumped into a girl on the staircase I recognized from school._

"_Hey, have you seen Blair Waldorf?" I asked._

"_She went up there," The girl answered before heading down the stairs. I quickly climbed the stairs desperate to find my favorite doe-eyed brunette. When I reached the top, I literally stopped in my tracks. It felt like someone had knocked the breath out of me. _

_There she was… kissing Nathaniel._

"_It was so hot how you punched Carter out. I've never seen you do anything like that before." She started kissing his neck and moving him towards an empty room._

_He just happened to look up and see me, sending a wink my way._

I don't even know what came over me, but I left the cotillion immediately. I had gone back to my suite at the Palace and packed my bags for Monaco. Seeing the two of them together made me sick to my stomach in a way I'd never felt before.

Nate and Blair called and texted me hundreds of times over the next couple of months, but I never read a single text and I never checked a single voicemail. I deleted them all without reading or listening to them. Nate and Blair were inevitable, and I'd been so stupid to believe that I'd actually mattered to her.

I did eventually speak to Nate again. We talked briefly a few times after our senior year in high school. He updated me on what everyone was doing, but I was already well aware of all his news. Serena and Eric had kept me well informed of all the Upper East Side happenings.

He and Blair had completed their senior year and were headed for Yale. I'm still convinced his grandparents bought his way in, or that Blair did his application essays, because as much as I loved Nate, he had never really been an intellectual. I found it hard to talk to Nate… I just didn't want to. I couldn't be close to him… because he was with her. He could cheat on her and break her heart, and she still chose him over me. Nathaniel Archibald was the white knight of the Upper East Side and I… well, I was Chuck Bass.

Nate and Blair both excelled at Yale and were married nearly immediately after graduation. They'd sent a wedding invitation, but of course I didn't go. I sent them a lavish gift with a note of congratulations to keep up appearances. Almost exactly 9 months after their honeymoon they welcomed a bouncing baby girl. Blair had finally gotten all of her dreams to come true. Visions of the perfect little Archibald family came to mind, but a knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Come in," I announced.

"Mr. Bass, I just wanted to let you know that we've found your cell phone. You must have left it at the bar last night. The concierge just brought it up. Also, the driver is ready to take you to the airport whenever you're ready," My assistant, Gregory, informed me.

"Thank you, Gregory, I should be down soon," I told him. He nodded quickly, making his exit to allow me to finish packing up my belongings.

I still couldn't believe my father was dead. Our relationship was never easy, but we'd grown closer over the years. Lily had a lot to do with his change in behavior towards me.

Unlike all of Lily's previous marriages, this one was for keeps. In a weird, dysfunctional way, our two families joined together to create a pretty happy blended family.

But, our unusual family would be changed forever with the death of my father. I had honestly been shocked when Lily had called in hysterics to tell me my father had suffered a massive heart attack, and that the doctors were unable to revive him. I downed a bottle of his favorite scotch in his honor, and ended up spending my night with the blonde I had just kicked out.

The death of my father meant that I was in charge of Bass Industries… and that meant I would have to be in New York. After all this time I would be going back to the world I'd run away from. Even though I'd been back to New York a handful of times for business in the last decade, I had done so quietly, not making my presence known to anyone but my family or my closest business associates.

I flipped open my cell phone to find that I had missed calls and texts from Serena, Eric, Lily and… Nathaniel. He'd left a voicemail, and I hesitated for a moment before listening to his message.

"Chuck, it's Nate. Serena just called to tell Blair and me about your Dad. I know it's been a long time since we've talked. Hell, I haven't seen you since Serena's wedding and even then I only saw you for a couple of minutes. But I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I'm sure you're probably getting ready to head home so have a safe trip and hopefully we can really catch up while you're in New York. I've really missed you, man."

I snapped my phone shut and sighed.

After all these years of avoiding Nate, of avoiding New York as much as possible, of avoiding… her. I was going to have to be back there again.

I grimaced at the thought of the awkward reunions that were soon to be a reality. God, I hope my father had kept the liquor cabinet stocked, because it was going to take a hell of a lot of scotch to help me through this.

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I'm getting ready to go out of town for the weekend. I won't have any internet access where I'm staying, but I promise I'll be writing! Hopefully I'll be able to update early next week. Next chapter, everyone will be back on the Upper East Side.


	3. It's Beginning to Get to Me

**Sorry for the delay! This week has been totally hectic! Calculus and Physical Geography are kicking my butt! lol**

**I'm housesitting this weekend for a family friend, so hopefully I'll have lots of time to get some writing done.**

**As always, let me know what you think! I love to get your feedback and suggestions! And of course I want to give a big thank you to my beta, who is totally amazing!**

**This chapter's title comes from Snow Patrol's "It's Beginning to Get to Me."**

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**"It's Beginning to Get to Me" - Chapter 3**

"Honestly, there's four tables of food out in the living room, but you just _have_ to have ice cream." I grumbled, elbow deep in Mrs. Bass's freezer, digging around for the dessert that my pregnant best friend just _had_ to have.

"Well, none of those tables have mint chocolate chip! Whoever decided that ice cream wasn't appropriate to serve after a funeral, anyway? I think it's probably the most comforting food of all." Serena declared, as she leaned against the counter, rubbing her growing belly.

"Honestly, S, the only ice cream I see in here is vanilla. Can't you just eat some of that?" I asked, showing her the carton I'd found.

"But mint chocolate chip was Bart's favorite! I know he had to have some in there!" She pushed me aside and started pulling containers out of the cool freezer.

"Yes! See, I told you!" She smiled, popping the top of the container off and shoveling a big scoop into her mouth.

"Want some?" Serena asked between spoonfuls.

"No, I'm good," I told her, laughing lightly because it looked like she wouldn't need any help finishing it off.

I got lost in my own thoughts, and when I looked up at Serena, she was studying me closely with her baby blue eyes.

"B, are you okay?" Serena asked eyeing me cautiously.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"You know exactly what I mean," She whispered, glancing in the direction of the living room nervously, making sure no one could hear our conversation.

"S, we agreed never to talk about that again," I whispered back angrily.

"I know, but he's here now, for good… and I know that's got to be killing you." She rubbed my arm gently.

"It's not like I haven't seen him since then," I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"B, you saw him for a total of 5 minutes at my wedding, and that was nearly four years ago. You didn't even speak!" She insisted.

"We had nothing to talk about! Your evil step-sibling has no effect on me!" I declared.

"But…" Serena protested.

"But nothing! I'm a happily married woman!" I snapped back, tossing my hair over my shoulder.

I instantly regretted the last part of my outburst. Serena was the only one who knew that Nate and I were far from perfect. It's not that we fought… in fact, we rarely ever did.

Nate had worked on Wall Street for a couple of years after we graduated from Yale, but he always dreamed of a career in politics. He started out running for City Council and quickly climbed up the political ranks winning a seat in the New York House of Representatives. He was becoming one of the most popular figures in New York politics. After all, Nate Archibald was the total package. He had good looks, a picture perfect young family, charisma, and an Upper East Side upbringing. Nate's political triumphs meant that he was out of town so often that we didn't have time to fight.

Serena started to say something but thankfully, she held back.

"We should probably head back in there. Your mom's probably wondering where we are," I told her, wanting to avoid any more discussion of my decade-old love affair.

We weaved our way through the crowd of New York society members that had come to pay their respects. I spotted Dan, who looked completely miserable to be chatting with Kati and her husband. Dan and I weren't exactly friends; I still didn't think he was good enough for Serena. But he was her husband, so I'd grown to tolerate him. I hadn't even teased him about his Cabbage Patch doll since we'd graduated from college.

"We should probably go rescue your husband, it looks like Kati is boring him to tears," I told her.

"I'm just going to go check on my mom, but I'll be there in a minute," She replied, before waddling over to her mother.

I made my way over to Dan, who was obviously tired of hearing how beautiful Kati's summer home in Tuscany was. I greeted her warmly; we chatted for a few minutes before I pointed out some of our old friends from Constance, and she left, dragging her husband with her.

"Thanks for saving me from that insufferable woman. I swear if I had to hear one more thing about the renovations to their villa I would've lost it," Dan sighed, shaking his head.

"Anytime," I replied, scanning the room nervously for a certain Bass heir. I'd managed to avoid him all day, but I knew that wouldn't last much longer.

"Wow! You didn't even call me Brooklyn! Are you feeling alright?" He asked, half-joking.

"I feel just fine, thank-you. I was just being nice," I told him.

"Nice? Blair, I've known you for ten years… and you've never really been nice to me." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I am so nice to you! Well… I'd at least say I've improved through the years!" I exclaimed.

"Alright, I'll give you that, you've definitely improved." He laughed.

"What's this? The Queen of the Upper East Side and my dear brother in law playing nice?" Every muscle in my body tensed at the sound of that deep, all too familiar voice. I spun around quickly and came face to face with a smirking Chuck Bass. It'd been ten years and he still looked like the seventeen year old I last saw on the cotillion dance floor. He looked older, yes, but still the same. Even the pompous way he stood and held his glass hadn't changed in nearly a decade. I looked into his dark brown eyes, and my heart raced.

"Bass," I greeted curtly, trying to avoid looking him directly in the eyes again.

"Waldorf," He replied, licking his lips slowly. I couldn't help but glance at them.

"Waldorf-Archibald," I quickly corrected him.

He laughed lightly. "Old habits die hard," he explained.

We stood there in silence for a few moments, my glare matching his smirk. Dan must have sensed the tension between the two of us, because he suddenly decided it was a good time to go check on the children upstairs, even though, he knew they were totally fine with Dorota watching after them. I rescued him, so why couldn't he stay and save me from this awkward situation? I gave Humphrey one of my signature sneers as he walked away.

"I see the years haven't effected your ability to clear a room." I glared at Chuck.

"And I see the years haven't effected your social niceties." He glared back.

"But I must say, B," he took a deep breath and looked me up and down, "time has been good to you. You're still as stunning as ever."

My mouth gaped open as he stood before me, his eyes roaming over my body. For the first time in my life, I was at a loss for words. I was panicking, trying to come up with some sort of witty comeback, when I heard a loud sob and felt something grab on to my leg tightly.

"Mommy!" Bella cried. I lifted her into my arms.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I rubbed her back as she clutched to me tightly.

"Drew pushed me! And he hurt my arm!" She wailed and pointed out the small bruise now forming on her little arm.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Blair! She just took off looking for you!" Dorota explained breathlessly, making her way towards me.

"It's okay, Dorota," I told my maid, as I straightened my little girl's black satin bow headband and combed my fingers through her blonde curls.

I glanced up to see Chuck closely watching me as I held Bella, and I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"But Daddy! I only pushed her because she took my fire truck!" My godson exclaimed, as Dan made his way towards me, his son in his arms. Drew was like a mini male version of his mother. He had her golden locks and warm skin-tone. The only hint of Humphrey were his golden brown eyes. Serena and I joked that our children would make the perfect, golden, Upper East Side power couple one day.

"Andrew Bartholomew Humphrey! You are never ever to hurt girls, no matter what!" Serena scolded stomping over towards her son and husband.

"Bella, did you take his toy?" I asked her.

"I was only borrowing it!" She huffed.

"Honey, you can't just take someone else's toy without asking. You need to tell him you're sorry." I lectured, tucking some of her blonde locks behind her ears.

"I'm sorry, Drew," Bella apologized, still pouting.

"I'm sorry too, Bella," Drew replied after some encouragement from his father.

I hadn't even noticed that Nate had joined us until Bella begged him to kiss her boo-boo.

He placed a light kiss on her arm, "All better, sweetheart."

I looked up, expecting to see Chuck waiting for this little dispute to end. Instead, I saw him quickly retreating from the Bass penthouse. Watching him walk away, I felt old wounds reopening and tears form in my eyes. Ten years later, that Mother Chucker still had an effect on me.

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I peered out the window next to the booth Nate and I occupied in the Palace dining room. He was going on and on about some education legislation he was working on as we sipped drinks. It had been a week since my father's funeral, a week since I'd seen Blair.

Time seemed to stand still where Blair Waldorf, or rather Blair Waldorf-Archibald, was concerned. I hadn't lied when I told her she was as stunning as ever, in fact the years only seemed to make her more beautiful. When we had stood in the living room and traded insults back and forth, it was like things had never changed. For a moment, we were still the same people we had been at seventeen. But when her little girl had cried for her mother and clung to her so tightly, I realized just how much time had passed.

"I must be boring you to tears with all my talk of the importance of early childhood education." Nate sighed and took a sip of his drink.

"Not at all, I'm glad to see you've found you're calling," I replied.

"So tell me about you, man. What in the world have you been up to all these years?" He asked.

"Nate, you know me, I don't change. My life is a mix of work, scotch, and beautiful women." I grinned.

"You really haven't found someone you'd like to settle down with?" He questioned.

I nearly spit out my drink, "I'm still not the settling down type, Nate."

He took a deep breath and I knew exactly what was coming next. "I know I've asked you before, but you've never really given me a straight answer. What the hell happened, man? You just took off!" He asked, a mix of anger and concern.

"I know, I'm sorry about all that. Honestly, I don't even understand what came over me. I just had to get away." I shook my head.

He sighed, "Chuck, were you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, well… sort of. Nothing of the criminal nature anyway," I answered.

"Chuck… was it about a girl?" He asked, brushing his sandy hair out of his eyes.

I was astounded at Nate's perceptiveness, "Well… yes, it was about a girl."

"She must have really been something, if she sent you running to another country." He smiled lightly.

"She was… amazing, but she was in love with someone else." I sighed, the last thing I wanted to do was reminisce about Blair with the man she married.

"Love? Chuck, were you in love with this girl?" He seemed completely shocked.

I'd never really admitted to anyone what I felt for Blair. When I look back on it, I guess I'd always been drawn to her, even when we were just kids. But I couldn't bring myself to say the words, not to him, even though he didn't know the girl in question was his wife. So I just nodded lamely instead.

"So, who was it, man? Did I know her?" He grinned, eager for my answer.

"No, you didn't know her." I only half-lied. He knew the girl yes, but he didn't know her the way that I did. Blair was different around me, she always had been. She didn't make herself out to be innocent or sweet; she let herself be who she truly was.

Nate's phone buzzed and he spared a glance down at the screen. He frowned as he squinted to read the text message.

"I've got to take care of something at the office," He explained.

"Go ahead, man. I don't think I'll have a problem finding company to entertain me." I told him, gesturing to the redhead that was sipping cosmopolitans at the bar.

Nate chuckled, "Ahhh… the life of a bachelor."

He patted me on the shoulder and stood up to leave, "Don't forget, we're all meeting for dinner at Serena's tomorrow night."

"I'll be there," I told him as I got out of my seat to make my way to the bar.

This was going to be one interesting dinner party.


	4. Sideways

**So, I'm horrible for not updating sooner. Sorry! This semester I've got some really difficult classes, and the work load has been killing me lately. **

**Again, after the last chapter I got a bunch of story subscription alerts, but I really want your reviews! I love feedback, good or bad!**

**This chapter's title is taken from the Citizen Cope song, "Sideways."**

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**Chapter 4 – "Sideways"**

"Hold the elevator!" I heard her call as the elevator began to close. I quickly hit the button to stop the shining silver doors, and she ran in with her curls flowing and cheeks flushed from the cold.

"Thank you," she smiled, but when she turned to face me she grimaced, "Oh god… it's you."

"Now, Blair… is that any way to greet one of your oldest friends?" I grinned and hit the button for the top floor.

"You are not my friend," she snapped, her chocolate eyes shooting daggers.

"Now I'm sure my darling sister, who is busy preparing a lovely dinner for all of her closest friends, and your dear husband would be so upset to hear you be so hostile towards me," I smirked.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh please. Serena and Nate could care less about your non-existent feelings."

"And where is Nathaniel this evening?" I asked, figuring that society's most popular couple would arrive together for a friendly dinner party.

"For your information, his meeting with the mayor ran late. He's on his way now," Blair huffed, as she smoothed the invisible wrinkles of her black coat.

She was so obviously annoyed by just my mere presence. I relished the fact that I could still make her lose the cool exterior that she presented to the rest of the world. She could act like the perfect politician's wife to all of Manhattan, but she couldn't fake it with me.

I was prepared to continue pestering her, when a sudden jolt sent her stumbling in my direction. I reached out and caught her in my arms, pulling her close out of instinct. She surrounded me, and my nostrils flared as I took in her familiar mix of Chanel perfume and vanilla-scented shampoo.

"What the hell!" She gasped, as she struggled to regain her balance.

"Are you alright?" I asked, reluctantly releasing my hold on her arms, I was enjoying having her close too much.

"I think so… what just happened?" She asked, wide-eyed.

"I think the elevator's stuck," I walked over and pressed the button for the top floor again, but the elevator didn't budge.

"Oh fantastic… I'm stuck in an elevator with Chuck Bass." She scowled as she leaned against the dark wooden mahogany of the elevator paneling.

I stepped closer to her. "Now Blair… there was a time that you and I could've really enjoyed being confined together in such close quarters." I reached out and lightly brushed one of her curls out of her face.

She smacked my hand away angrily. "That was a long time ago… and if you touch me again, you'll get to experience a Manolo Blahnik in your crotch."

"You always did like it rough, B," I grinned before she pushed past me and picked up the emergency phone. She barked orders to the building's maintenance employee, the poor guy. I could imagine him cowering somewhere in fear after Blair's verbal abuse. She slammed the phone down and sighed.

"He says it could be an hour before the maintenance team is able to get us out," she whipped out her phone from her purse and attempted to send Serena a quick text, but grumbled angrily when the message wouldn't go through.

"Well then, we might as well get comfortable," I declared, taking a seat on the floor.

"Care to join me, Blair?" I patted the ground next to me and smiled wickedly.

"I'll pass." She scowled.

"Oh please, it's not like I'm going to pounce on you or something." I rolled my eyes, and she hesitated for a moment, but slowly relented and sat down beside me.

"See… I'm a perfect gentleman," I told her.

"Just… stop talking. You're wasting the oxygen." She breathed deeply and hugged her knees close to her chest.

That's when I noticed the slight trembling of her hands. There were very few things in this world that Blair was afraid of, but small, confined places were right at the top of the list; she was claustrophobic. I'd learned that when we were six, and Georgina Sparks had locked us inside a closet during a game of hide-and-seek at Serena's house. Blair had been so terrified that she'd actually started shaking. I'd made fun of her at first for being chicken, but then the tears started to fall. That was the only time I'd ever seen her let her guard down, and even at six, it killed me to see those chocolate eyes filled with tears. I had awkwardly sat with her and held her hand, trying to calm her down until Serena had finally come to our rescue. Later that day, I'd ripped the head off of Georgina's favorite doll in retaliation.

I moved closer to her, "Hey… it's going to be fine."

"I know…" She closed her eyes and twisted her hands anxiously.

Without really thinking, I placed my hand over hers. I was shocked when she didn't pull away, and we sat there in silence, our hands joined together, waiting for our rescue.

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?" Serena asked as she stood in the doorway of her bathroom.

"S, I told you I'm fine," I reapplied my lip-gloss and smoothed down a few rebellious curls.

"You're terrified of tiny, closed spaces and you expect me to believe that you're totally fine after being stuck in one for an hour? Not to mention that you were stuck in there with Chuck," she laughed lightly.

"Chuck… Chuck was fine… he didn't bother me." I smiled, remembering the way he sat silently beside me holding my hand. It was the same way he'd comforted me back when we were younger, stuck in that closet, locked up during a nightmarish game of hide-and-go-seek.

"You're kidding me? We're both talking about my stepbrother, right? You know… he's got dark hair, dark eyes, drinks a lot of scotch," Serena joked.

"S, really I'm fine and Chuck didn't bother me," I laughed.

"B, what's going on?" She asked.

"What? What do you mean?" I turned away from the mirror to face her. Even with her growing belly, she was still a knockout in her black satin wrap dress with her long blonde locks in waves reaching just past her shoulders.

"You've been cold and indifferent when it comes to Chuck for the last ten years, and now you're smiling like a school girl every time I say his name." She eyed me suspiciously.

"I am not!" I insisted. The last thing I wanted to do was get into some deep, heart-wrenching discussion about whatever it was that just happened with Chuck. I'd just have to fill her in later, sometime after the party.

"You so are!" She giggled.

"Oh, stop it! Don't be ridiculous! Now let's get back to that dinner party of yours. It's been delayed enough because of me." I hurried her out of her room and back to the dining room to join the rest of the guests.

Vanessa, who had found great success as a director, and her blockbuster-producing husband, Ryan, were chatting happily with Dan as they sipped wine together. Eric, who worked for Bass Industries in Paris, and his handsome photographer boyfriend, Jacques, laughed with Carter Baizen and his latest fling. Kati and Isabel were practically ignoring their husbands; they were too busy planning their next spa day. It was the same as usual, except for one guest; Chuck was lurking around, scotch in hand, pretending to be interested in everyone's conversations.

"Alright everyone, dinner is served!" Serena declared, and everyone made their way into the dining room where the staff was laying out the last plates of food.

After we had taken our seats, Kati turned to me and asked, "B, where's Nate?"

Nate… I had completely forgotten about Nate after all the excitement of the elevator incident.

"He had a meeting run late, but he should be here by now." My forehead creased in concern. I pulled out my phone to find a single text from him, explaining that he had too much work to do, and to give his apologies to Serena for not being able to make it. Yet again, he would miss another event because of work. He'd even missed Bella's birthday party last year because of an emergency budget meeting in Washington. To be honest, I didn't even care anymore. I'd gotten so used to attending everything from society galas to preschool functions solo, that I didn't even get angry with him anymore.

I frowned "He's just not going to be able to make it, he's hard at work on the proposal for his new education bill."

Of course, that led to a conversation where everyone praised my husband for his success and the fine job he had done since elected to office. I had to force myself from spitting out my wine when Carter suggested Nate was headed for the governor's mansion. Nate could throw himself into his work as much as he wanted, but there was no way in hell that I would allow him to drag Bella and me from the city to Albany, even if it was to the governor's mansion.

The conversation quickly turned to Dan, as Ryan practically begged him to think about meeting with his company to discuss turning his book series into a movie. Dan had become quite the successful author with a series of books about his experiences in high school. I would never admit it to _anyone_, but I'd actually read the entire series. Most of it revolved around his tumultuous relationship with Serena; or should I say Matt Sawyer, from Brooklyn, and Olivia Ashford, the reformed Upper East Side wild child, and their tumultuous teenage relationship.

Even I had to admit that Dan was actually a pretty decent writer, but if he was trying to make the true identities of his characters a secret, he failed miserably. He'd actually named his womanizing, boozehound, bad boy Charlie Trout. I could barely contain my laughter when I'd read that name in the first book. Did he really think no one would figure out Charlie Trout was Chuck Bass?

Then of course, there was Peyton Holloway. Peyton was the jock from the well-respected family. He had everything in common with Nate, including the devoted long-time girlfriend, Brynn Maxwell. I'd nearly strangled Dan when his fictional persona introduced Brynn as Olivia Ashford's best friend and everything he hated about the Upper East Side, "distilled in one 95 pound, bon mots tossing, doe-eyed, label-whoring, package of girly evil." Though, I'll admit I did come to rather enjoy his depiction of me.

"I don't know Ryan, I'm not sure I'm ready to think about a movie. I'm just not quite sure if my _Gossip Girl_ series is really over," Dan explained.

"Not over? Everyone ends up living happily ever after in the last book," Isabel commented.

"I know, but it feels like there's something missing… something not quite finished for the characters," Dan continued.

Everyone continued to chat happily, even Chuck who mostly chatted business with Eric and Carter, until eventually, the party came to an end.

"B, you are not walking home at this hour," Serena insisted.

"Serena, it's only a ten minute walk," I told her as I slipped on my coat.

"I don't care, I'll call you a cab. I don't want you walking home by yourself," she continued.

"I'll take her home," Chuck said as he buttoned his coat, while Serena eyed him suspiciously.

"You will?" She asked him, her eyebrows raised.

"Her place is on my way, it's not a problem," He assured her.

"Is that okay with you, B?" Serena questioned, placing an arm around my shoulder.

"That's fine," I told her before hugging her goodbye and saying goodnight to Dan.

Chuck and I walked out into the hallway together silently and he moved towards the elevator.

I shook my head, "I've had enough of elevators today. I think we should probably take the stairs."

He laughed. "You're right."

We headed downstairs, where his driver was ready and waiting for us. Chuck opened the door for me and I slid across the cool leather. When that leather brushed against my skin so many memories rushed back to me. Of course, it wasn't the same limo that we'd drunkenly climbed into all those years ago, Chuck had a newer and fancier one now, but it was so similar in almost every way.

I glanced over at Chuck and couldn't help but smile at him leaning against the seat, because he was wearing a bowtie similar to the one he had worn the last time we'd ridden in his limo together. I studied his features carefully. Ten years later, he still had those same chiseled cheekbones, those same long lashes, and those same dark eyes. There was something so comforting in that, looking at him reminded me of better days. He reminded me of days when life wasn't so dull and monotonous, when there'd been excitement on the Upper East Side.

We rode in silence for the short trip to my house. But it wasn't the awkward silence that often occurred when Nate and I sat together. Something in the dynamic between Chuck and I had shifted, we were on better terms than we had been before the elevator ordeal.

I started to open the door, but I turned to him instead saying, "Chuck… thank you… for everything."

He slid across the seats, closer to me, and grasped my hand in his. He placed a tender kiss on the back of my hand, and I felt every inch of my body respond to his touch as his dark eyes gazed up at me.

He smiled genuinely, "For you… anytime."

I knew I was blushing as he released my hand, so I quickly made my exit and slipped inside my house.

I peeked into Dorota's room to find her fast asleep before tiptoeing down the hallway to Bella's room. I sat down on her bed and brushed her sandy locks out of her face, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"Sweet dreams, baby," I whispered as I closed the door quietly and headed up the stairs to my bedroom.

Nate still wasn't home; he probably wouldn't be for hours. I hung my dress neatly in my closet and slipped on a silk chemise. Another night alone, another sexy nightgown wasted in a practically sex-less marriage. I ran my hand right hand over the place on my left where Chuck had pressed his lips. My lips curved in to a smile, remembering the feel of his soft lips on my skin.

Maybe, I would have sweet dreams of my own tonight.

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"Hey man, what have you been up to?" Nate asked on the other end of the line. I'd been ignoring his calls for a few days, but I'd finally given in and answered.

"Sorry, I've been so busy with work," I lied. In reality, I just didn't want to be around him. He knew Blair had gotten stuck in the elevator before the party the other night, and he knew that was her biggest fear, but he chose to stay at work. If she was mine… I would be there in an instant, ready to rescue her from that elevator myself.

"Of course, but let's grab drinks." I heard him hold the phone away from his mouth, "Bella! Share! Pass the ball to Drew and play together!" I heard him lecture his daughter.

"Sorry about that - I've got Bella and Drew with me at our old spot in the park, I've been tossing a ball around with them. Serena and Blair should be here to pick them up soon, they're taking them to the movies, so my afternoon's free," He explained.

I hesitated, but I couldn't really avoid him forever, "Sure… I'm actually pretty close to the park, I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

"Alright bro, I'll see you soon," he replied before hanging up.

I'd just finished a meeting with Carter Baizen at his real estate firm. I still didn't like the guy; I hadn't forgotten what he'd done to Nate and me all those years ago. He'd swindled Nate out of thousands at that poker game, and stolen my prized Babe Ruth autographed baseball, but he was running his family's real estate firm now, and was fairly friendly with my stepsister, which made him unavoidable. I'd given Arthur, my driver, the day off because he'd been battling a terrible case of the flu. So I was left to walk the couple of blocks to the park to meet Nate.

I could grin and bear it with Nate, if it meant that I got to see Blair, even for just a couple minutes. I hadn't been able to get her off my mind since the night of the party. I couldn't sleep because I would dream of her and her thighs wrapped around me all those years ago. During the day I would see a brunette in a crowd and think it was her, only to be disappointed when I discovered it wasn't. At night, in the Palace bar, I would catch a whiff of Chanel perfume and wish it was her swirling her champagne next to me at the bar, instead of some slutty blonde. Ten years later and that women made me feel those damn butterflies that I'd tried so desperately to get rid of. Ten years later, and I was still chasing after my best friend's girl like some lovesick puppy; it was just so terribly pathetic.

* * *

I put my cell phone back in my coat pocket after finalizing my plans with Chuck.

"Nate," I heard someone call, and I turned around to come face to face with _her_.

"Sarah… how did you know I was here?" That's when I noticed Jared in her arms.

"Have you lost your mind? You can't be seen with me! Especially not with him!" I tried to contain my anger as I glanced around the park to make sure no one I knew was in sight.

"Daddy! Come play with us!" I heard Bella beg as she tossed the ball to Drew. They were so young, so a game of catch was still pretty challenging for them. He didn't make the catch and he scurried to retrieve the ball and toss it back.

"In a minute sweetie," I called back before turning my attention back to Sarah.

"I called your house, your maid told me you'd be here. I had to tell you in person…" Sarah stared down at the ground.

"You called me house? I told you to never call the house!" I was stunned.

She sighed. "Relax… I told the maid I was one of Senator Lawson's aides, and I needed to deliver some files to you in person. I had to tell you…" She hesitated for a moment.

"Tell me what?" I demanded anxiously.

"He knows." She took a ragged breath as she waited for my reaction.

"Who knows?" I asked.

"My husband knows." She cuddled the baby in her arms, closer to her.

"You told him?" I started to panic. No one could ever know the truth. The truth would send my world crashing down. Everything, my whole career, would slip away if the truth came out. I would end up as disgraced as my father, something I'd sworn I would never allow to happen.

"He was always suspicious, Nate. He had a paternity test done behind my back… he knows Jared's not his… and he knows you're the father," Her voice cracked as she explained.

"How the _hell_ does he know I'm the father?" I snapped.

"Because… I told him. I'm tired of living this lie. I'm tired of being just your mistress! We can be together now… we can be happy," she smiled.

"Sarah, this will ruin everything! My career will be over… my wife will leave me," I grabbed on to her arm angrily.

She pulled away from me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes, "You told me two years ago that you'd leave her."

"I can't leave her… my constituents adore her," I spat furiously.

"That's all you care about, isn't it? The power? The politics? You never even cared about me, did you? You don't even care about hurting your wife… or your daughter," She gestured over to where Bella and Drew were giggling as they clumsily tossed the ball back and forth, oblivious to what was going on.

"How much, Sarah? How much will it take to make your husband forget everything he knows?" I questioned.

"He doesn't want money! He's a jealous man and all he wants is revenge! Nate… he's going to the papers. I came here to warn you, you need to tell your wife before she reads it in _The_ _Times_," finally the tears she had been holding back started to spill over.

Everything I had worked so hard far was going to crumble.

* * *

I was at the corner, so close to my old hangout in the park. Serena, Nate, Blair, and I had spent so many afternoons there after school as kids.

I could see Nate, looking furious as he argued with some blonde. The blonde looked like she was crying and clutched a baby close to her chest.

"Daddy!" I heard Bella call him, as the ball she and my nephew were playing with rolled out into the street.

"Daddy!" She called again, but Nate didn't seem to hear her.

I could tell she was pouting from the lack of attention; she was her mother's daughter after all, and she enjoyed having Nate's full attention. Then all of the sudden she ran out towards the street. I heard my nephew call after her not to go, but she bolted, her blonde curls bouncing in the breeze.

I could see the cab coming, as she bent down and picked the colorful ball up in her hands. The driver would never see her… she was so little.

I didn't have time to contemplate… I had to run… run faster than I ever had in my life.

I had to get to Blair's little girl before that cab…

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	5. Precious Lie

**I'm so glad the site's finally working again! I've been ready to post this chapter for three days now lol.**

**As always thanks to my beta, Ellie, was is fabulous. **

**This chapter's title comes from Cary Brother's "Precious Lie."**

**Let me know what you think! I love reading everyone's reviews!**

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**Chapter 5 – "Precious Lie"**

"He kissed you on the hand?" Serena asked, totally astonished.

"Yes… he did." I could feel my cheeks growing hot.

"Oh my god, you're blushing!" Serena exclaimed.

"Shhh… stop it!" I laughed.

She frowned and placed a protective hand over her curved belly as we crossed the street. "Blair… this is dangerous."

"What? What's dangerous?" I questioned her, as I shuffled the shopping bags in my hands as we walked to the park. Bella and Drew would go crazy when they opened these gifts Christmas morning. I'd just have to hand them off to Nate before my curious little girl could get a peek inside.

"Chuck and you… stealing moments in the back of a limo… _again_." Her features were creased in concern.

"Serena… it was just a kiss on the hand," I tried to brush her suggestion off.

"Was it? Was it just a kiss on the hand, B? Since you two got stuck in that elevator together I've seen you smile more than you have in years!" She stared at me, trying to read my reaction as we walked.

"Serena! I would never do _that_! For crying out loud, I'm _married_!" I wanted to drop the subject as quickly as possible. Thinking of Chuck and me rolling around in the back of a limo, or imagining us pressed up against elevator paneling would only make me blush more.

"But… you wanted to?" She stared back at me. She didn't even really need to ask; she knew me well enough to already know the answer.

"It doesn't matter what I did or didn't want." I brushed my hair out of my eyes as the chilly winter wind gusted.

"Of course it matters! What you want always matters!" Serena insisted. She linked her arm in my mine as we crossed another street.

"No, S… it doesn't!" I felt my throat tighten. Nothing that I wanted really mattered anymore. I had wanted to go to law school after Yale, but there'd been the wedding to plan… and then Bella. I had wanted my husband to be around for his daughter, but as the years went on he just became more and more consumed by his work. I had wanted more children so that Bella could have the brothers and sisters that I'd always wanted. But after three miscarriages, I'd just stopped trying. I was left in a lonely bed night after night while Nate climbed up the political ranks. And I could handle that… I could manage. Until _he_ came back… he came back and he made me start feeling things again. I'd worked so hard to force myself not to care about my feelings anymore, to only focus on Bella and taking care of her, but he was rapidly melting my icy heart.

"B…" Serena rubbed my back as we got closer and closer to the corner near the park.

With my cashmere gloves, I wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape. I glanced up, looking for the kids and Nate.

"Oh my god! That child's going out in the street!" I exclaimed, horrified, squinting as I tried to see the small figure better at the end of the block better.

I looked at the little girl with the bouncing sandy curls as she leaned down to pick up a ball in the street. She had on a purple peacoat… just like my Bella's. She was wearing white knit tights… just like the ones Bella insisted she wear because she wanted to match with me. She had a sparkling silver headband in her hair… just like the one I'd delicately placed in Bella's hair this morning.

My heart started pounding faster than it ever had… _that_ _was_ _my Bella_.

It felt like time seemed to slow down, just like in the movies, when I saw it… I saw the bright yellow taxi.

I threw down my shopping bags and started racing down the block.

"Isabella! Isabella Archibald!" I screamed, my fear rising to levels I'd never experienced before. The wind whipped at me, but I didn't even feel the cold, my entire body was completely drenched in shock.

She looked up at me and smiled, but she was still in the direct path of the taxi.

I could feel my Jimmy Choo's slicing the backs of my heels as I tried to run to her. I had to scoop her up into my arms and shield her… but I was only halfway to her, and I would never make it to her before that cab.

That taxi would collide with my sweet little girl any second… but I continued to sprint on… my lungs felt like they'd burst.

"Bella!" I screamed again. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stumbled and landed harshly on the cold sidewalk, scraping my hands and knees. She was my whole world… my life…

"No! Bella! No!" I cried and pulled myself up. I had to get to her… I would throw myself in front of that taxi before I would let it hit her.

But then out of nowhere… a man rushed towards her and scooped her up into his arms. The taxi slammed on his brakes with a horrible squeal. The driver cursed at him before driving around him and continuing down the street.

He'd saved her! He'd saved my beautiful little girl!

I rushed over to him.

"Bella!" I sobbed and pulled her into my arms. I let my tears fall freely and I kissed her cheeks over and over again. My whole body shook as I held her close.

I looked up at the man, only to realize that I knew his dark, familiar features.

"Chuck?" I gasped.

* * *

I'd wrapped Blair's little girl up in my arms and she stared back at me, wide-eyed. I hadn't really looked at her close-up before… it was like looking at a blonde mini-Blair. She had Nate's light features and blue eyes, but Blair's curls and distinct style.

The cab driver screamed something angrily at me before he drove away.

"Bella!" I heard Blair call, and she came rushing towards me, her usual flurry of Chanel and vanilla, but with crimson blood staining her ripped snow colored tights at her knees, and tear-stained cheeks.

She pulled Bella into her arms and shook as she sobbed openly on the street. She kissed the little girl's cheeks and ran her fingers through her blonde hair.

She looked up at me and gasped, "Chuck?"

She was silent for a moment, but then she threw an arm around me and buried her face in my chest.

"You saved her! Chuck… you saved my daughter!" I rubbed her back gently with my hands as her tears left angry stains on my coat. She continued to thank me over and over again.

Then Serena was there, shopping bags in hand, tears streaming down her own cheeks. She wrapped her arms around Blair and me, and we were in the middle of the street in some sort of unusual group hug.

"Blair!" Nate called as he raced towards us, the blonde he had been arguing with earlier trailing behind him, baby boy in her arms. My nephew was behind them, running with outstretched arms to my stepsister.

Blair pulled away from me, but tightened her embrace on her daughter.

"Nate! How could you let that happen?" She turned on him like a mother lioness defending her cub. Her little girl looked up at her mother's tears and began sobbing.

"Is she okay?" He reached out and touched his daughter's cheek, trying to brush away her tears, but Blair pushed his hand away.

"What could've possibly been _so_ important that you nearly let our child get killed?" She demanded, her cheeks red from rage.

That's when I noticed her glance at the blonde woman.

"Sarah?" She asked, still trembling.

I knew the instant she saw the infant in the women's arms, because she gasped as she looked into his eyes. Her free hand clenched into an angry fist.

"Bella… go to Aunt Serena." She smiled down at her child.

"But Mommy… I want you." Her little girl sniffled and snuggled closer to her.

"I'll be there in a minute, baby, please do what mommy says." She kissed her daughter's forehead before setting her down on the ground, and Bella scurried quickly over to Serena and Drew.

"How could you? How could you do this to me?" Blair shook her head as she continued to stare at the blonde's baby. The blonde, who I had gathered was Sarah, stared down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

Serena must have sensed the battle brewing, because she hurried the children over to park benches nearby. They were far enough away so that the children couldn't hear or see what was going on. I didn't know whether to follow Serena or to stay… in the end I couldn't seem to get my legs to carry me away from Blair, and I stayed rooted in my spot beside her. Angry drivers honked at us, so the four of us moved onto the sidewalk.

Nate moved closer to Blair, and seemed to realize what had her so mesmerized. "Sweetheart, it's not what you think," he assured her, reaching out for her hand.

She stepped back from him, finally breaking her gaze on the baby boy.

"You bastard!" She shrieked, before slapping him with a deafening crack. Nate looked up at her, totally stunned, with a perfect pink outline of Blair's small hand across his cheek.

He tried to reach for her again but she pushed him away from her with all her strength, causing him to stumble backwards.

"Blair… we don't need to cause a scene here," Nate scolded, glancing around anxiously.

"Then tell me the _truth_!" She glared at him, pure hatred shining in her eyes.

Nate seemed to struggle for a moment. "Baby, there's nothing to tell. Sarah was delivering some paperwork for Senator Lawson and I got distracted… it was an accident." I noticed he didn't look her directly in the eyes as he stumbled over his words.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid? Do you really think I don't recognize your child? Do you really think I don't see that he's got your eyes? He looks exactly like you! He looks exactly like Bella when she was a baby!" She snapped at him.

"Blair… I'm telling you, it's not what you think." He was panicking, I could tell, and I knew that Blair could see it too. That's when I really looked at the baby in question… it only took me seconds to recognize Archibald features in the boy.

"Stop! Just stop! Enough lies Nate… tell her the truth!" Sarah demanded furiously.

Nate hesitated for a moment, staring at Blair with fear in his eyes. "I made… I made a mistake, B. I'm so sorry… I never meant for this… for any of this to happen."

Sarah gasped and angry tears started flowing down her cheeks, "You're still lying! You've been lying to me for years! And you've been lying to your wife for even longer!"

She turned her attention to Blair, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." Sarah cuddled her son closer to her and walked away, tears still running down her cheeks.

Blair just stared at Nate, both her hands now balled into angry fists.

She cleared her throat. "Ten years ago, I stood on a street corner and asked you if you loved me. You couldn't even answer me…"

"Blair…" Nate started.

"No! Let me finish!" Blair insisted.

"Ten years ago on that street corner… and I realized I didn't need you. But I was scared, so scared of taking a risk, and I fell back into my old habits. I thought you were safe and secure. I thought that if I was with you… I'd be happy… I'd live some sort of perfect, fairy tale life. But while you've been lying to me, I've lying to myself. I've allowed myself to be numb for ten years. Maybe… maybe I had to face losing my daughter, the most important person in my life, to finally realize it again… but I don't need you, Nate Archibald. I've never needed you." With that, she turned away from him, her head held high like the queen she was, and returned to her daughter.

Nate stood before me, stunned in silence, as he watched his wife walk away from him.

He'd been my best friend once, been such a big part of my life for so many years… but looking at the man before me… I didn't see the boy I once knew. I saw a man, a man who'd lost himself somewhere along the way. A man who'd allowed his world to crumble, who'd allowed himself to get so caught up in his aspirations that he'd forgotten what was really most important.

"Chuck! Chuck, let's go!" Serena called. She was getting into a taxi with Blair and the children.

I looked back at Nate… trying to see something… trying to find the boy I'd once known in his eyes. But all I saw was emptiness. His blue eyes were nothing more than a sea of emptiness and confusion.

I shook my head and made my way to the waiting cab, leaving my former friend to drown in the sea of emptiness he'd created.


	6. Love and Memories

So, I'm horrible for leaving you guys hanging for so long. I thought I would have plenty of time to write during my spring break, but I ended up spending all my time with family and friends. I will try to update as soon as I can this time around.

As always thanks to my wonderful beta for always giving me her honest feedback! And thanks to O.A.R. for their song "Love and Memories" which is where I got the title for this chapter.

**Please read and review! I love your feedback!**

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"**Love and Memories"**

Vultures… they were all disgusting vultures. I took a deep breath as I looked out the window of the sleek black limo Chuck had sent to pick me up from work. The front of Serena's building, where Bella and I had been staying since the horrific incident by the park a week ago was a virtual mob scene. Photographers and reporters pushed and shoved on the snow covered sidewalk. They were all eager to get the perfect snapshot or sound bite from the soon to be ex Mrs. Archibald.

I knew the details of Nate's affair would come out, but I'd naively hoped that I'd have more time to prepare myself. But I'd known something was up this morning when I'd arrived at the office and my secretary had hidden the newspaper from me. She'd insisted that it hadn't been delivered yet, which was ridiculous, considering it had been delivered on time everyday for the three years I'd worked as the public relations director at Eleanor Waldorf Designs. The second clue came when my mother, who should've been in a morning meeting, appeared in my office, clearly distraught, despite her best efforts to hide it. She'd actually hugged me as she handed me the newspaper. That was another clue; hugs from Eleanor Waldorf were a rare and scarcely seen occurrence. There, on the cover of _The New York Times_, in big, bold letters was, "**Congressman Archibald's Big Secret – Affair and Love Child Destroy Marriage**."

The paper was right; my marriage was over. Cyrus had already begun filing the necessary paperwork. There'd been so many times before when I'd wanted to end it; end this sham of a marriage I was trapped in. But I never wanted Bella to have to deal with the pain and anger that I'd felt when my father had left. I knew what it felt like to have your family fall apart, and I wasn't about to put my child through that. But when I'd seen that baby boy in Nate's secretary's arms, staring back at me with his blue eyes, my Bella's eyes… something inside me snapped. Maybe it'd been the adrenaline coursing through my veins that had inspired me to finally demand the truth, to finally say what I'd been holding back for years. Whatever the reason, the truth was out now. Pandora's box had been opened, and there was no way I could just forgive him.

Nate had nearly allowed my precious little girl to lose her life. The man I had always imagined as my white knight had failed, just as he'd failed me so many times before… but Chuck had succeeded.

"Get back! Please get back!" I heard Arthur, Chuck's driver, demand as he struggled to get through the crowd of reporters. Chuck had called me at work to tell me he was sending a car so I could avoid the media frenzy that had formed in the front of my office building. Arthur had pulled into the alley behind my office and I was able to slip into the limo unseen. Unfortunately, I couldn't avoid the prying eyes anymore.

The door of the limo opened and Arthur extended his hand to me, "Take my hand, dear."

I grabbed onto him, holding his hand tightly as we struggled through the swarm of camera flashes.

"Mrs. Waldorf-Archibald! Mrs. Waldorf-Archibald!"

"Is this really the end of your marriage?"

"Mrs. Waldorf-Archibald! How long has Congressman Archibald been carrying on this affair?"

"Mrs. Waldorf-Archibald! How are you and your daughter coping?"

The faces of the reporters all blended together as they shouted out their questions. I could tell they were agitated by my silence. They wanted a reaction that would sell more papers and gain more viewers, but I wasn't giving it to them. They pushed and shoved more, breaking the hold I had on Arthur.

"Please, just leave me in peace!" I begged, willing the tears that were welling up in my eyes not to fall. My whole life I had loved attention, lived for the spotlight, but now all I wanted was to retreat to my best friend's penthouse and be with my daughter.

One of the photographers stumbled forward, crashing into me. His weight sent me falling to the ground, scraping my already bruised knees. I tried to get up, but the camera flashes blinded me.

"Get out of my way! Get _away_ from her!" I heard Chuck's familiar voice snarl as he stormed through the crowd.

The next thing I knew, I was being pulled up off the icy ground and his warm arms surrounded me protectively.

* * *

Blair Waldorf-Archibald was a media darling. Nate's campaigns and her position as chairwoman for various charities had made her a prominent fixture on the society pages. I had still read the New York papers while living in London, and I'd seen her grace the pages many times, with her perfect ruby lips always curled into a smile. But she wasn't smiling now, as Arthur struggled to help her out of the car and through the swarm of nosy reporters that surrounded her.

I'd rushed to Serena's as soon as I saw the headlines in the papers this morning. Blair loved attention, enjoyed being envied and admired, the same way that I did, but she wasn't fond of having her private life out in the open. I knew she'd want to escape the media, so I'd sent Arthur to pick her up and bring her back to Serena's.

That was how I came to be restlessly waiting, a rather worried Dorota by my side, for a certain doe-eyed brunette to finally force her way inside the lobby. I felt my heart race when I saw the way the nosy bastards pushed and shoved their way closer to her, forcing her and Arthur to become separated. Then I felt fury erupt from within me when she was knocked to the ground. So I'd forced my way through the crowd, shouting angrily at the obnoxious reporters and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her safely in my arms.

"Mr. Bass! Mr. Bass!" The photographers went wild, but my only concern was getting Blair out of this mess.

When we were safe inside the lobby, she turned to me, quickly composing herself.

"You're making a habit of this, Bass," she commented.

"A habit of what?" I asked her.

"Coming to my rescue," she smiled lightly as Dorota rushed to her side, making a big fuss over her skinned knees.

As soon as the three of us made it in the doorway of the penthouse, Serena hurriedly waddled to Blair's side.

"Are you sure you're okay, B?" Serena asked.

"I'm fine," Blair told her as she took off her coat and handed it to Dorota.

"Ms. Blair, let me get first-aid kit to clean cuts with," Dorota insisted in her thick Polish accent after she'd hung up Blair's coat.

"Dorota, I'm fine, it didn't hurt that much," Blair assured her, but her maid was already off searching for the kit in one of Serena's bathrooms.

"Mommy! Come look at the pictures I drew!" Bella called. She was lying on her stomach under the Christmas tree, a massive spread of coloring books before her. Drew sat near her, crashing two toy fire trucks together. Blair seemed to brighten as she walked over to her daughter. She sat down on the ground, Indian-style, next to Bella, kissed her cheek quickly and ruffled Drew's hair.

"What'd you draw, baby?" Blair smiled as Bella shuffled her stack of drawings in her hands.

"I drew the Christmas tree! And me and you ice-skating!" Bella beamed as she showed off her work to her mother.

"These are so pretty, Bella! I'm going to hang them up in my office!" Blair smiled as her daughter climbed into her lap and began showing off her other pictures.

"And I drew this one for Mr. Chuck!" The little blonde Blair look-a-like smiled up in my direction.

"Here, Mr. Chuck! Come look!" She called.

I walked over to the two curly-haired girls, awkwardly sitting down beside them and my nephew. Bella grinned at me as she handed me the picture.

"See! That's me, Mommy, and you!" Bella pointed at the stick figures on the paper I held in my hands. Two of the stick figures had long, flowing hair, I assumed those were Blair and Bella. I supposed that the other figure, the one with the dark hair and pants was me, but I didn't know what the big yellow blob behind us was.

"That's a taxi!" Bella explained, pointing with her tiny fingers again.

I noticed Blair stiffen slightly at the mention of the taxi incident, but my attention shifted back to Bella, who'd asked me if I liked her drawing.

"I… I think it's beautiful," I told her and she giggled.

"Will you hang it in your office?" She asked, twisting one of her blonde curls with her finger. She'd picked that habit up from Blair; I was sure of it. Whenever Blair wanted something, she'd twist one of her dark curls around her finger that same way.

"Of course I will," I assured her.

Bella quickly turned her attention back to her mother. "Mommy! This is a picture of the kitty I want for Christmas!"

Blair's bow-lips formed a frown once again. "Baby, that's a very cute kitty, but I just don't know if I can get you that kitty for Christmas."

"Why?" Bella gazed up at her mother, bottom lip jutting out.

"Well sweetie, since we're staying with Aunt Serena right now, it's just not a good time to get a pet," Blair explained.

"But… but… you promised!" Bella huffed.

"I know, honey, I'm sorry. But after Christmas, when Mommy finds a new house for us to live in, we'll get you that kitty." Blair comforted her little girl by rubbing her back.

I glanced at the picture of the cat Bella had drawn, trying to make out the color of the kitten she wanted. It was orange; I should've known. Of course Blair's daughter would want the same kind of cat Audrey Hepburn had in _Breakfast at Tiffany's._

"Serena, can I talk to you in private for a moment?" I asked my stepsister, who was relaxing on the couch near us, as I slipped the picture Bella had drawn me into my jacket pocket.

"Umm… sure," Serena replied, and I helped her up so we could talk in the other room. Blair watched us suspiciously as we walked away.

I would make sure Bella got everything she wanted for Christmas.

* * *

"And they all lived happily ever after." I finished reading the fairy tale only to find that Bella and Drew were already fast asleep.

I made my way down the hall to the guest room I was staying in, slipping on my satin nightgown quickly.

"And they all lived happily ever after, what a load of crap! I shouldn't be reading the kids such garbage! In real life, nothing ends happily ever after! Real life is hard! Real life has challenges! The handsome prince doesn't come through in the end!" I angrily declared as I laid down on the bed.

"What if you just chose the wrong prince, B?" I heard Serena say. I sat up to see her standing in the doorway, rubbing her big belly.

"I thought you went to bed?" I asked, completely embarrassed that she'd heard my little rant.

"I couldn't sleep," she explained as she climbed into bed beside me.

"So what do you think about that?" She asked, turning on her side to face me.

"Think about what?" I asked, laying back and staring at the ceiling.

"That maybe… you just chose the wrong prince the first time around." She eyed me closely, waiting to see my reaction.

I rolled on my side to face her. I knew exactly what she was implying, or rather who she was trying to bring up. "Don't go there," I told her.

"Why? You and I both know there are still feelings there! You've told me! He's told me! Hell, Dan even asked me the other night if there was something going on with you two," she huffed.

"What? Serena, did you tell Dan about Chuck and me back in high school?" I asked, completely terrified. The last thing I needed was for Dan to write about Charlie Trout and Brynn Maxwell getting it on in the back of a limo in his next book.

"No! Of course not, B! I've never told anyone that!" Serena insisted.

"Wait… he told you he still has feelings for me?" I asked, trying to hide the excitement in my voice. I could definitely feel those old butterflies fluttering expectantly in my stomach.

"Well… not in so many words. But you know that Chuck's not one to come out and talk about his feelings. He's more of an actions-speak-louder-than-words kind of guy." Serena yawned lazily.

"Oh, is that what you two were meeting about in the hallway earlier today? Chuck's plan of action?" I asked, dying to know what he had up his sleeve.

"That's between me and my stepbrother." She smiled lightly.

"Come on! Give me some details!" I begged.

"No! B, be patient!" Serena giggled sleepily.

"S!" I pouted. I wasn't crazy about surprises. I loved control far too much to truly enjoy surprises.

"Let's just say… he knows the way to your heart," Serena explained as she rubbed her eyes.

We lay silent for a few minutes, and Serena slowly drifted off to sleep. But I couldn't. I was too hyped up, wondering what that Bass was up to.

"I hope he knows the way to my heart. I don't think I could handle it if he broke it again," I said softly, visions of the past taking over every time I tried to shut my eyes.

_I sat at my vanity, making sure every one of my curls formed the perfect loose spiral. I glanced over at the custom-made, silver gown Dorota had hung neatly in my closet. That perfect dress had nearly been ruined because of Chuck and his devious plotting. How dare he try to ruin my night? How dare he try to interfere? He'd caused the fistfight on the dance floor that threatened to ruin my cotillion. Well, I was done with Chuck Bass! This little fling we'd been carrying on was over! I'd told Chuck that before stomping off to find Nate. But those butterflies in my stomach obviously hadn't received the memo yet. They flapped their wings angrily as I remembered the look on Chuck's face when I'd told him we were over. He'd actually looked… hurt._

_But that didn't matter! I was back with Nate… everything would be perfect now. Nate Archibald was prince charming and Chuck Bass was the devil himself. Queen B simply didn't belong with the devil._

_But those damn butterflies continued to taunt me with their rapid flapping. Nate and I were finally able to be together! I should be deliriously happy! My birthday wish had come true; everything was the way it should be. But every time Nate had touched me, it felt so… wrong. He didn't know every one of my curves. He didn't know just where to touch me to drive me wild. His touch was rough, inexperienced. When I'd looked into his eyes I saw baby blues, not the dark chocolate I craved._

_Oh my God… I wanted Chuck Bass. I got up and started pacing anxiously. I felt something for Chuck Bass! I nearly started hyperventilating at my flabbergasting revelation. How the hell did this happen?_

_I needed to talk to him and figure this out, right away! I quickly put together an outfit and applied my make-up. I tiptoed down the hallway as best as I could in my sling-back Jimmy Choos. The last thing I needed was to explain to Dorota, or even worse, my mother, where I was going at such a late hour. I quickly hopped in a cab and told the driver to hurry to the Palace. He got me there in record time, earning a generous tip for his speed._

_I ran right through the lobby, my heels clicking obnoxiously, and breathlessly rushed in the elevator. That elevator ride seemed to last an eternity, but it finally stopped on the eighteenth floor. I hurried out and began banging loudly on the door to room 1812, Chuck's suite._

"_Bass! Open the door!" I called after a few minutes; frustrated he was keeping me waiting. Patience was not a virtue that I possessed, and he knew that._

"_He left," I heard a woman say._

"_What?" I asked turning around to see one of the girls from housekeeping in the hallway._

"_He left about an hour ago. He was all angry about something, threw his stuff in his suitcases and left," she explained._

"_Well, when is he coming back?" I questioned her. I really had hurt him… and that realization scorched me._

"_That, I couldn't tell you," she replied before making her way down the hallway._

_I continued to stand in front of his door, calling and texting him a dozen times._

"_Bass! Pick up the phone!" I cursed. I needed to talk to him, needed to figure out what exactly there was between the two of us. And it needed to be soon, before I lost my nerve. But he wasn't answering. My mind began to race, trying to think of all of the places he could've gone. If he'd taken a suitcase that meant he was headed out of town, and there was one person he'd have to tell if he was leaving New York. The one and only Bart Bass would know where Chuck had jetted off to._

_I found myself running back to the elevator and pressing the button for the top floor, where his father's suite was. I stood in front of Mr. Bass's door for a few minutes, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for why I was showing up at his suite at such a late hour. Finally, I knocked lightly on the door. There was no response, so I started to walk away._

"_Miss Waldorf?" I heard the door creak open._

"_Mr. Bass, I'm so sorry to bother you so late, but it's very important that I speak with Chuck. I heard he left with a bunch of suitcases and he's not answering any phone calls," I explained, turning around to face him._

"_It's quite alright. I just arrived home from Hong Kong. Please, come in," Bart insisted, motioning for me to step inside._

"_Thank you, sir," I replied, sitting down on one of the sofas in the living room._

"_I just don't know what's come over Chuck. He just took off and left me this note." Bart frowned, picking up a piece of paper off the coffee table as he sat down in one of the armchairs._

"_I was hoping you or Nate would be able to tell me what's sent him fleeing to Monaco. What kind of trouble has he gotten himself into now?" He shook his head._

"_Do you mind if I read it?" I asked, referring to the note._

"_No, not at all," he replied, handing me the paper._

_It read –_

_Father,_

_I don't have time to explain, but I can't stay in New York anymore. I'm headed for the resort in Monaco. I'll call you when I arrive._

_Chuck_

_A lonely tear rolled down my cheek, leaving a tiny wet stain on Chuck's cursive. He was gone, and it was my fault._

"_Blair, is there someone I could call for you? Or perhaps I could have Arthur drive you home in the limo?" Bart asked, his forehead creased, the same way that Chuck's did when he was thinking deeply or scheming._

_His words only caused me to go back to that fateful night in the back of that very limo… that very night that those butterflies had awoken in both Chuck and me._

"_No thank you Mr. Bass, but when Chuck calls you please tell him I need to speak with him," I managed to squeak out before thanking him again and heading back in to the hallway. Running away was nothing new for Chuck; he'd been gallivanting off to a number of his favorite destinations for years. He would be back… it was only a matter of time._

_But he didn't come back. Days turned to weeks, and the rest of the world kept moving on. The holidays and winter break passed and it was time to return to school. But there was one student whose presence was noticeably absent in the courtyard between Constance and St. Jude's. A certain scarf-wearing billionaire heir hadn't returned with the rest of the student body from their winter getaways, and neither had I. In fact, I had missed the first week of second semester. I sat on my knees on the floor of my bathroom gagging horribly into the porcelain toilet bowl._

"_Blair! Open the door!" Serena demanded._

"_S, I'm fine! It's just a stomach bug!" I told her between gags._

"_Let me in right now!" Serena yelled from the other side of the door._

_When it seemed that there was nothing left in my stomach, I opened the door to come face to face with a very upset Serena._

"_You and I both know that this isn't a stomach bug… I brought this for you." She pulled a white and pink box out of her brown Kooba tote._

"_S, put that thing away! I'm not pregnant!" I ordered. I would will myself to not be pregnant._

_I walked over and laid down on my bed. My phone rang on the bedside table. It was Nate's ringtone; he was calling again. It was easy to ignore him after cotillion because he'd been away in Connecticut visiting family during the holidays. But now he was back, always calling me and sending me flowers. He'd come by every day after school, but I'd made Dorota send him away telling him I was too ill for visitors._

"_You know, I risked my relationship with Dan and social suicide buying this test for you! Someone snapped a photo of me buying it and sent it to Gossip Girl," Serena explained, as she took a seat beside me on the bed._

"_Well, it was all for nothing because there's no way I'm pregnant!" I snapped at her._

"_Blair… you've been sick every morning, you're tired all the time, and you're late. You need to take this test… you need to find out what you're dealing with here. That way you and Nate can figure out what you're going to do," Serena explained, rubbing my arm gently._

_I sat up and pulled my knees close to my chest. I rocked back and forth slowly and tears welled up in my eyes._

"_It's not Nate that I need to talk to…" I confessed quietly._

_I felt the bed shift as Serena moved closer to me._

"_Chuck?" Serena asked._

_I turned to her, completely stunned._

"_How do… how do you know that?" I asked, totally taken aback._

"_After you told me you wanted to be alone at your birthday party, I went back to check on you. I thought you might need me… but Chuck and you were… well… you know," Serena told me._

_Then I finally let my tears fall. Serena wrapped an arm around me as I told her everything about the secret affair Chuck and I had been carrying on. She was the only one I would ever allow to see me like this. She was the only person I would allow myself to be weak like this in front of._

"_B, it's going to be okay. No matter what happens, I'll be right here beside you," Serena promised._

_5 minutes later the tiny white stick lay in my hand with the two little pink lines glaring back at me. This baby would ruin my life. I sank down on the floor and gasped between loud sobs._

"_Blair… I'll have my mom talk to Bart and get Chuck to come home," Serena tried to console me._

"_No! No, I don't want you to do that!" I shouted._

"_But… you need him. You said yourself you needed to talk to him," Serena said, shocked at my outburst._

"_No S, I need to figure out what I'm going to do. I need to figure out what's best for me… and this baby," I stated firmly._

"_B, this is his child too… he needs to know what's going on. I know you're upset that he left, but he needs to know about this," Serena told me as she tried to wipe away my tears._

"_Chuck doesn't care about me… and I don't think he'd give a damn what I do," I snapped harshly, as I stared down a photograph of Chuck on my bulletin board. It was a picture Nate took of Chuck sandwiched between Serena and I at the Hamptons last summer. Of course Chuck had that signature smirk plastered on his face. I placed a hand of my flat stomach, trying to imagine what a little Bass girl or boy would look like. Maybe… she or he would have that same grin._

"_You know that's not true! He cares about you and he'd care about this baby!" Serena protested._

"_No S! Chuck Bass fights for what he wants! Chuck Bass never takes no for an answer! I told him we were done and he just… left. He just ran away! He didn't even try to fight for me," I cried._ _"And you know… the worst part is… I think I really do love him," I admitted for the first time._

_Serena stopped trying to press the Chuck issue, saying she'd give me a few days to figure things out before she'd get Chuck involved._

_But I didn't have to figure things out… three days later I woke in the middle of the night with horrible cramps. I quickly went to the bathroom and found my thighs sticky with crimson blood._

_The doctor I saw in the ER that night, with Serena by my side, explained it was an early term miscarriage. He explained that sometimes those things just happen, that it was a fairly common occurrence. I thought it was such an insensitive thing to say._

_The next night I tossed and turned in my sleep. Dreams of a little boy with Chuck's dark eyes and grin haunted me._

_Serena, who'd slept over, turned on her side to face me._

"_I know you don't want to talk about it… but maybe if I got in touch with Chuck…" She started._

"_No… you have to promise me that we're never going to talk about this again. We're never going to talk about Chuck… or the baby ever again," I swallowed the lump that was rising in my throat at the mention of the baby._

"_B…" Serena faltered._

"_I mean it, S," I ordered, turning to look her directly in the eye._

"_Okay," She reluctantly agreed, with worry obvious in her blue eyes._

After that night I went back to my life. I went back to Nate, to school, and my position as Queen B. Serena had kept her promise, we never spoke about the baby and until recently we rarely ever spoke about Chuck. But sometimes I would see her watch me closely out of the corner of her eye. Sometimes I would see her look at me with that same worried expression. Sometimes we would be out shopping and I'd see a little dark-haired boy in a crowd that caused the breath to catch in my throat. And in those moments I would remember… in those moments the pain I felt when Chuck left… and when I lost our child… all came back. And during those times, feelings that I'd been hiding away all these years resurfaced and nagged at me terribly.

A lonely tear rolled down my cheek.

No… I couldn't bear to lose him again.

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*** Note : In my story Serena never tells anyone about Blair's pregnancy. She never discusses the issue with Dan, so Jenny never over-hears about Chuck and Blair like she did on the show. There is a post on Gossip Girl about Serena buying a pregnancy test, but Serena covers for Blair and tells Dan it was her test. Serena lies to Dan and tells him it was a false alarm.**


	7. Find Your Way Back

**I am so so so terribly sorry that it has yet again taken me forever to get the next chapter out. I had a serious case of writer's block, a ten page geography paper, and an economics exam cramping my style. I have three more days of classes and then a four day weekend *yay!* so I promise (and I mean it this time!) the next chapter won't take as long. **

**Perhaps if I get some more reviews this time, instead of just story alerts, I'll be even quicker ;)**

**Thanks again to Ellie for being a fantastic beta and to Michelle Branch for her song "Find Your Way Back," which is the title of this chapter comes from.**

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**Chapter 7 – "Find Your Way Back"**

"Grandma! It's so pretty!" Bella smiled as she twirled around the room with one of the new dresses Blair's mother had given her for Christmas.

Eleanor laughed as the tiny blonde jumped into her lap and leaned over to steal one of the sugar cookies Cyrus was happily munching on. I'd never seen Eleanor Waldorf, well, Eleanor Waldorf-Rose, smile and laugh like that in all the years that I'd known her. I imagined that the jolly little man beside her had a lot to do with it.

"Wow!" I turned towards my nephew, who was opening a gift in Lily's lap. Drew held in his hands a fairly large toy airplane, the Bass name in bright blue letters on the side. It was an exact replica of the Bass private jet.

I saw my stepmother's eyes glisten with tears. "Grandpa Bart had that made for you. He wanted to be here when you opened it," she explained to him. My father had told me a month ago about the toy plane he was having made for Drew, because the boy had begged to fly with him on his last business trip. Believe it or not, big bad Bart had been somewhat reformed over the last ten years. He was a shrewd businessman until the end, but transformed from the frigid father of my childhood to as close to a doting grandfather as Bart Bass could ever be.

"Thank you, Grandma," Drew replied as he hugged her. He then rushed over to his parents and Eric to show off his favorite new toy.

Bella moved across the living room floor that was scattered with ripped pieces of shiny wrapping paper, over to where her mother and Dorota were exchanging gifts. She surveyed the giant pile of toys, picking up and cradling the custom made doll that Harold and Roman had sent from France. But there was one gift, one that was not in that massive stack of lavish toys and clothes. I knew she wanted that gift more than all the others combined.

"Mommy, do you think Daddy will get me the kitty I want?" She asked her mother, while everyone in the room seemed to hold their breath. Nate was a topic that everyone had carefully avoided since his dirty laundry had been aired to the entire population of Manhattan.

"No, sweetie, Daddy's not going to get you a kitty for Christmas." Blair frowned as she tucked a stray curl behind Bella's ear.

"Bella," I called and she turned her disappointed blue eyes toward me. "There's one more gift behind the tree, all the way in the back," I explained. She looked at me with a curious gaze before setting her doll down and sprinting over to the tree, searching for the red and silver box with tiny air holes along the side. She found it quickly and brought it to the middle of the floor as Dorota hurried to her side.

"It says to Bella from Chuck," Dorota read from the tag before helping to lift the lid off the box. Bella squealed as she lifted the tiny orange fluff ball in her arms.

"Mommy! Look! Mr. Chuck got me my kitty!" The kitten began meowing quietly, as Bella rubbed its head gently.

"I see he did," Blair replied, not taking her eyes off of me. She smiled at me lightly, causing my heart to race rapidly. Then she got up, her satin cream dress hugging her curves in all the right places, and sat with her daughter. The pair laughed as they played with the kitten.

"Sweetie, aren't you going to thank Mr. Chuck for your gift?" Blair asked after a few minutes.

"Yes," Bella grinned, carefully handing the kitten to her mother. She ran over to me, startling me as she leaped into my lap.

"Thank you, Mr. Chuck, this is the best present ever!" She exclaimed, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck. Her blonde curls bounced as I awkwardly began patting her back gently.

She kissed my cheek before rushing back over to her kitten. Blair was still watching me, a full genuine smile across her lips.

"Mr. Chuck, come help me name her," Bella called.

"Bella, you can just call me Chuck," I told her as I sat down beside her. Mr. Chuck just sounded too formal, too impersonal for Blair's little girl to call me.

"Okay, Chuck," she giggled.

After a lengthy name debate everyone agreed that the kitten would be named Holly, a name both honoring Holly Golightly and the holiday season. Arthur brought up the rest of Holly's supplies that I had stored down in the limo. He, Dorota, and Lily were sipping hot chocolate in the kitchen. Eric and his boyfriend, Jacques, as well as Eleanor and Cyrus, had left for various holiday parties. Serena and Humphrey cuddled together on the couch, with their backs towards me. I stood at the edge of the hallway between the kitchen and living room, leaning against the wall as I watched Bella and Drew play. This Christmas was certainly different from my last. Last year I'd merely called my family and spent the day in various bars picking up women, their names long forgotten. This year felt better. This year felt right.

"You know, Bella's going to think she can get whatever she wants from you now. She knows she's got you wrapped around her little finger," Blair stated as she walked up beside me, handing me a glass of scotch.

"Well, she must get that from her mother." I grinned as I accepted the glass she held out for me. Our fingers brushed delicately and I could've sworn I saw her cheeks flush pink. I took a gulp of the amber liquid, letting its fiery taste scorch my throat.

Lily walked up behind us with two small cups of hot chocolate on a sterling silver tray, ready to serve to the children.

"It looks like you two have been caught under the mistletoe," Lily winked at me, before passing by and making her way into the living room.

Blair and I gazed up at the green leafy bundle tied together with a satin red ribbon hanging from the ceiling, our eyes meeting as we looked back down. I'd always thought mistletoe was such a stupid holiday tradition. It was nothing more than a poisonous plant that people hung obnoxiously around their homes during the holidays. Kissing a woman under the mistletoe was so corny, so cliché, so un-Chuck Bass like. But Blair Waldorf wasn't just any woman. Blair Waldorf would pretend to be unfazed by such a stupid tradition, but secretly adore it. Blair Waldorf was the only woman… and this was my chance to truly see if Blair could still feel the sparks between us that I felt. It was my chance to see if I'd invaded her dreams the same way she invaded mine.

I set my glass down on the dark mahogany of the small table to my right, and stepped closer to her. My hands trembled slightly as I brushed my fingers along her cheek, feeling her soft porcelain skin. She didn't recoil at my touch, she didn't call me a pervert or a Basstard or any other insult she'd hurled at me in the past. And it may have been ten years since I'd last touched her like this, but I recognized the desire in her eyes. So I slowly leaned in, bringing my lips to meet hers. She responded instantly, her lips melting together with mine as she ran her fingers through my hair.

If this was just another one of my Blair-infiltrated dreams, I never wanted to wake up, because any more time spent without touching this woman, holding this woman, would simply drive me mad.

I was so consumed by Blair that I didn't turn when I heard someone at the front door.

"What the hell is going on here?" I heard someone yell, but I was still too intoxicated by Blair's kiss to realize this comment was directed at me. Well, I was, until Blair was forced away from me and a fist connected with my face. Blair screamed as I fell to the floor, crimson blood pouring from my nose.

"What the _hell_ are you doing with _my_ wife?" I was forced to my feet as I came face to face with a red-faced, furious Nate. He clutched the collar of my shirt as he forced me against the wall of the hallway.

This had to be some sort of cruel, ironic joke that God was playing on me. What else could possibly explain Nate's ability to still interrupt my moments with Blair all these years later?

* * *

"Nate, stop it! You're hurting him!" I screamed.

I hadn't even heard him come in. I'd vaguely heard someone knocking at the door, but I was too wrapped up in Chuck to notice who it was or if anyone had answered. It was reckless really, Bella could've easily turned her head and seen us. How would I manage to explain mommy kissing her new friend, Chuck, a man who was not her daddy? Explaining the concept of divorce to a five year old had been difficult enough. But when it came to Chuck Bass, I was totally reckless. When it came to him, the rest of the world seemed to melt away. His scotch flavored lips were the only thing on my mind until I was shoved away from him to see Nate's fist meeting Chuck's face, knocking him to the ground. Chuck was totally stunned, a stream of blood rolling down his face and staining his perfectly pressed shirt.

"Get off of him!" I grabbed onto Nate's right arm, trying to pull him away. He didn't even turn his head to look at me; he just simply pushed me away with his hand. My legs were like jell-o due to the breathtaking kiss that had been so unfortunately interrupted, and I lost my balance. I gasped as I fell back onto the floor, landing on my butt with a thud.

It was then that Nate turned his head and realized what he'd done. Chuck's eyes met mine and I could practically see the waves of anger radiating off of him. Chuck raised his fist, hitting Nate in the jaw with a crack.

"You don't ever get to hurt her again!" He yelled before pushing him out of his way and kneeling down in front of me.

"What's going on in here?" I heard Dan exclaim as he dashed over to us, glaring at both Nate and Chuck. Perhaps all the time spent around me had worn off on him, because that glare was almost Waldorf worthy.

"Mommy!" I heard Bella cry out as she tried to run to me, but Dorota held her back. Lily and Serena peeked over the couch, trying to see what was going on. Drew hid behind Arthur, clutching his toy plane to his chest.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked, worry clearly evident on his face.

"I'm fine, it was an accident," I told him, accepting his outstretched hand and getting back on my feet. This would definitely leave a bruise. Chuck's hand stayed intertwined with mine as Nate glowered at him, covering his bruised jaw with his hand. I noticed Chuck carefully position himself slightly in front of me in a very protective manner.

"What are you doing here, Nate?" Chuck growled.

"I came to pick up my daughter and speak with _my_ wife," Nate snapped back at him.

"She's your wife only for the time being, the divorce papers have already been filed…" Chuck growled.

I placed my free hand on Chuck's chest to stop him from continuing the argument. "Nate, we agreed that Anne would pick Bella up later this afternoon."

"I know we did. But I wanted to see her now, and I wanted to talk to you," Nate replied, much more calmly than he did with Chuck.

"Fine, we do need to talk," I agreed. I felt Chuck's grip on my hand tighten as I stepped towards Nate.

I turned back towards him and assured him, "We just need to sort a few things out, for Bella's sake." He reluctantly released my hand and was left with everyone in the living room gaping at him. I could hear Lily fussing over him as she tried to treat his bloody nose, and Dan and Serena start to question him as Nate and I walked down the hallway to the guest bedroom.

Nate paced around the room, searching for something to say as I shut the door and sat down on the bed.

"Blair… what… what were you doing with him?" Nate finally asked, utterly bewildered.

"Nate, you're not blind… you saw exactly what we were doing," I answered, a little more venom that I had really intended laced in my words. I was still peeved that my reunion with Chuck had been so quickly ruined.

"Are you doing this to get back at me?" Nate sat down beside on the bed.

I shook my head. "What? No… no that's not what this is about."

"Then what? What is this all about?" He asked, confusion clouding his blue eyes.

"We were just… there… under the mistletoe and it just happened…" How could I explain to him what I was feeling? I didn't even fully understand what I was feeling! It's not like I even really owed him an explanation after learning about his infidelity.

"Blair, I know I hurt you, and I know Cyrus has begun filing the divorce papers, but I'd hoped that in time you and I would be able to work things out. We've been together for so long… and I ruined it, I know I did… but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you and to Bella…" He squeezed my hand gently and pleaded with me, a frown on that angel face of his.

After all these years we were still fighting the same battles. Something would happen and Nate would sit before me, begging me to forgive him yet again. It was all just too familiar. It was the same way he had pleaded with me after the truth about Serena and him had come out all those years ago. It was the same way he'd begged me to talk to him, to take him back, after I'd ignored him following cotillion. It was the same way he'd pleaded with me to be understanding that day on the sidewalk. It was no wonder he figured we'd end up getting back together, we'd been doing this dance back and forth, over and over again for years.

"Nate, I think if we're both really honest here, we can both admit that you and I just weren't meant to be." I looked up at him as he searched my face looking for a sign of hope that he wasn't going to find.

"But Blair…" He tried to interrupt.

"No, Nate, our relationship has been falling apart for years. We barely speak, you're rarely home… I fill my time at the office and with Bella, you're obsessed with your work," I tried to explain.

"I'll change," He begged, bringing my hand to his lips, and placing a delicate kiss there.

"No, Nate, it's just who you are. It's what I thought I wanted… but I've realized now that I want more, that I deserve more," I told him as I stood up before him.

"And you think Chuck can give you that?" Nate asked, no hint of animosity or spite in his voice, just pure honesty.

I laughed lightly, "I don't know… that's just something I'll have to find out. But you and I… we need to be amicable. We need this to be as smooth a transition as possible – for Bella."

"You're… right," Nate admitted running his fingers through his hair.

"That means no more showing up unannounced and no more punches flying," I scolded.

He nodded and winced as he rubbed his jaw. I looked down at my left hand where the Vanderbilt diamond, the one I'd admired since I was a little girl, glimmered on my ring finger.

"And I guess this means… that I should return this to you," I said, as I slipped the precious heirloom off my finger and handed it to him.

He shook his head, "No, Blair…"

"Yes," I insisted, placing it in his hand. "One day, when she's old enough, you can give this to Bella."

"Blair!" I heard Serena scream from the living room. Nate and I raced out of the room and back down the hallway where Dan and Chuck were struggling to help Serena off the couch.

"Owww!" She yelled, holding her stomach.

"S! What's wrong?" I ran to her, and held her hand.

"Contractions! Owww!" She squeezed my hand tightly as the pain intensified.

"Arthur's got the limo ready downstairs," Chuck told me as we all moved Serena towards the door.

"See, S, you and your little Park Avenue prince are going to the hospital in style!" I smiled at her reassuringly.

"Mommy!" Bella cried, running to me. I moved away from Serena as I picked Bella up in my arms.

"B! Don't leave me! What if Dan passes out in the delivery room again?" Serena protested.

"I did not pass out! I was just light-headed! That room was so damn hot!" Dan insisted. I couldn't help but chuckle because Serena was right. Dan had been so nervous when Drew was born that he'd passed out in the delivery room and I'd had to coach Serena through most of her delivery.

"Mommy, is Aunt Serena okay?" Bella asked.

"She's fine, honey, she just needs to go to the hospital because it's time for the baby to come. I'm going to go with her, so why don't you show Daddy your new kitty? Then he's going to take you to dinner at Grandma Anne's," I told her as I kissed her forehead and handed her to Nate.

"Blair! I need you!" Serena called as Chuck and Dan helped her into the elevator out in the hallway.

Drew was crying in Lily's arms as he heard his mother cry out in pain.

"Don't worry, Drew, your mommy's fine. And soon you'll have a new baby brother to play with," I rubbed his back gently before I ran to the elevator to join my best friend.

Between kittens, kisses, fistfights, and contractions, this was certainly turning out to be one hell of a Christmas.


	8. Sometime Around Midnight

**I hope everyone is having a great weekend! I would've posted this earlier, but the hotel I stayed at this weekend didn't have wifi :( So sorry about the delay!**

**Thanks again to my beta, Ellie, for her wonderful guidance and to the Airborne Toxic Event for their song "Sometime Around Midnight" which is where the title for this chapter comes from.**

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**Chapter 8 – "Sometime Around Midnight"**

"Oh, Ms. Serena, little Aidan is such a beautiful baby," Dorota cooed as Serena held her new born, Aidan Alexander Humphrey, in her arms.

The delivery went smoothly and Dan had even managed to stay conscious this time around. After only a couple of days in the hospital, Serena and her bouncing baby boy were back at home.

"Oh, thank you, Dorota," Serena smiled, leaning back against the headboard of her bed.

Dan strolled in the bedroom. Since little Aidan arrived, a permanent grin had been plastered on his face.

"How's my little guy?" Dan beamed.

"Oh, he's just fine." Serena smiled as Dan kissed her tenderly on the lips.

There was a knock on the door downstairs and Dorota hurried to greet the visitor.

"Grandma!" I could hear Bella squeal. After a few minutes I heard my mother's familiar footsteps as she entered the room, a black garment bag in hand.

"Serena, Dan, congratulations, you two!" My mother greeted, shaking Dan's hand and grinning warmly at Serena.

"Oh, thank you, Eleanor," they both replied.

"I think this is my cue to take Aidan," Dan muttered as Serena handed him the baby. He disappeared to the nursery down the hall and Dorota slipped into the room in his place.

"Sweetheart, what are your plans for tonight?" my mother asked.

"Well… I just plan on relaxing with Bella until she falls asleep, maybe drink a little champagne," I answered.

"But what about the ball, Ms. Blair? You've worked so hard planning it!" Dorota exclaimed, as she moved to my side. I was the chairwoman for the annual New Year's Eve charity ball. It was the biggest fundraiser of the year; the city's various youth centers depended heavily on the donations received by the society members attending the lavish bash. I'd been planning this event for six months: coordinating the decorations, the catering, the guest list, everything right down to the napkin rings on the tables.

"It's not exactly like I can go now," I huffed.

"Why not, B?" Serena asked.

"Why not? Serena, my marriage disintegrated and was splashed all over the front page of every newspaper in town only a few weeks ago!" I replied, shocked at her ludicrous question.

"Besides," I sighed, "With you out of commission, I'm not about to go waltzing in there by myself."

"Well… about that…" Serena hesitated.

"Oh, S… what did you do?" I glared at her as she tried to smile meekly.

"Blair, don't be so dramatic! We've been talking," my mother started, motioning to Serena and Dorota.

"Fantastic! The three of you have been talking about me behind my back," I snapped, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Ms. Blair, we all want you to be happy! Even Mr. Dan help," Dorota explained.

"Humphrey! Even Humphrey was in on whatever ridiculous plot you all have been planning," I scoffed. I was going to strangle Brooklyn.

"It's not ridiculous! It's romantic! And you're going to love it!" Serena declared, grabbing my hands.

"Oh… I highly doubt that," I sighed. "But… please… do tell me what plans you've come up with." I rolled my eyes at the three traitors before me. Plotting behind people's backs was my thing, not theirs.

"I may have brought up to a certain stepbrother of mine how hard you've worked on the preparations for the ball, and he may have thought the two of you should go together," Serena giggled.

"Oh, no! Please tell me you're kidding!" I begged, already gathering what Serena, Dorota, and my mother had been up to.

Things had been so surprisingly calm between Chuck and me since our Christmas kiss. We'd sat side by side in the waiting room until Aidan was born. He'd come by the house everyday, under the guise of visiting his new nephew, but he usually ended up spending most of his time with Bella and me. But he'd been so, dare I say… adorable with Aidan. The first time Serena offered to let him hold the baby he declined, until Serena insisted. He'd looked utterly terrified, almost like he was afraid he was going to break him.

"_You're not going to hurt him," I insisted._

"_I… I don't know how to do this," he admitted quietly. He suggested I take the baby, but I shook my head._

"_You're doing fine. You just have to make sure his head is well supported," I assured him._

_Chuck adjusted Aidan slightly in his arms. "Like this?" He asked, gazing down at the tightly bundled baby._

"_Perfect," I told him, and my heart skipped a beat as he raised his eyes to meet mine and smiled._

But then I had felt a twinge of that old pain again. Seeing Chuck so delicately care for a newborn baby only reminded me of what could have been all those years ago. Those dreams of a child with Chuck's grin returned, leaving me restless at night. The thought occurred to me that I should just tell him the truth. Maybe telling him the truth was the key to finally getting closure. But what good would that do? What good could possibly come from revealing to him a secret that only Serena and I had shared for the last ten years? Whatever this was, this thing between us, it could crumble once he learned I'd hidden the truth from him for so long.

"Hello! Earth to Blair!" Serena waved her hand in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.

"We've got to get you ready! Only a couple of hours until Chuck arrives!" Serena declared hopping off the bed.

"What? I can't go to the ball with him!" I insisted.

"But, why not Ms. Blair? You've always liked Mr. Chuck, even in high school. And Mr. Chuck is much nicer man than he was then," Dorota proclaimed.

"You knew? You knew I liked him in high school?" I turned towards my maid, taken aback by her comments.

"Of course! You thought I no see you sneak him in your room back then, but Dorota knows all and sees all. I have eyes in back of my head," Dorota clarified, a proud smile across her lips.

I sat silent for a moment, before continuing my argument. "But… my divorce won't be finalized for six months! It would be unseemly to go out in public with another man, especially one that didn't officially come to ask me to be his date tonight."

"Darling, don't worry about what everyone will say. The fear of what they would say about me after your father and I split kept me from going out for months! I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy. I feel like it's my fault that you were hurt in the first place." Tears welled up in my mother's eyes.

"Mom, what are you talking about? Nate's affair and the divorce isn't your fault." I stood up in front of her, clutching her hands in mine.

"I pushed you in to that life, Blair. Since you were five years old I filled your head with ideas about Nate and the Vanderbilt ring. I let you make the same mistakes that I did." A sad tear rolled down her cheek and I pulled her in for a hug.

"Mom, I made my own mistakes. I don't regret them. If I didn't make those mistakes I wouldn't have Bella." I brushed away a tear of my own that had managed to escape. It had taken us years, but perhaps now my mother and I finally understood each other. Maybe it took repeating her mistakes for me to truly understand her.

"Charles… Charles is good for you. You two suit each other well. It's like Charles is your Cyrus." My mother grinned. Cyrus and Chuck were nothing alike, but perhaps he was my Cyrus. Cyrus had brought out a different side to my mother; he was her second chance at happiness. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but perhaps somehow, despite my guilt over my secret, Chuck could be my second chance.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Serena told the guest to enter.

"Sorry I'm late! Traffic was horrendous!" Lily apologized as she shut the door behind her.

"You were in on this too?" I laughed. Was there anyone in my life that hadn't been involved in this little date scheme?

"Of course, dear! Now let's get you ready for the ball!" Lily beamed.

"But… I didn't pick out a dress, because I didn't think I was going. I have nothing to wear!" I paced around the room frantically. Of course I had a large walk-in closet full of designer gowns in the guest room, but none of those would do.

"Well then I guess you're lucky that your mother created a one of a kind dress just for you!" My mother unzipped the garment bag she'd come with and revealed a stunning wine colored, chiffon masterpiece. The embroidered bodice had just enough silver detailing to make the dress festive, but it wasn't over the top. The ruffled hem would show off my legs, an asset that I knew drove Chuck wild.

"It's been sewn to your exact measurements, so it'll fit like a glove." My mother moved to stand behind me and placed the dress in front of me.

"It's… gorgeous." It truly was a work of art.

"Did you bring the shoes, Mom?" Serena asked her mother.

"Yes." Lily revealed a bag from Bendel's that she'd been hiding behind her back.

"First we do hair!" Dorota proclaimed.

My doubts seemed to melt away as the process of preparing for the ball began. Every curl was perfected, every inch of my skin moisturized, make-up was carefully applied, and finally after what seemed like an eternity I slipped on my perfect dress and my new strappy, silver Jimmy Choos.

"Ms. Blair! You look like angel!" Dorota declared, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Stunning!" Lily cheered.

"You're going to knock Chuck off his feet," Serena chuckled.

"Mommy! You look like a princess!" Bella exclaimed. I hadn't even seen her sneak in, but there she was, cuddling Holly, her kitten, close as she gazed up at me.

"Awww, thank you, baby." I kissed her forehead.

"There's just one thing missing… a necklace! You need a necklace!" My mother announced, as she looked through my jewelry box Dorota had brought upstairs from the guest room.

"What about this one?" Serena asked, picking up a diamond necklace Nate had given me for our first anniversary.

"No, not that one." I shook my head. The girls suggested a few others, but all of them were from Nate. I just couldn't wear his jewelry anymore, not with Chuck.

"Ms. Blair! What about this one? You only wore it once a long time ago," Dorota asked, carefully holding the Erickson Beamon necklace up for me to see. I'd never been able to get rid of that necklace, in all the years that Chuck had been gone from my life. I'd kept it hidden away in its box at the bottom of my vast collection of jewels. He would recognize it instantly.

"Perfect," I told her, as I gave Serena a knowing smile. Other than Chuck, she was the only one who knew what that necklace meant to me.

* * *

Blair was probably furious when the girls announced our plan to her. Blair didn't like being out of the loop, especially when it concerned her. I knocked on the door to Serena's penthouse and felt those old butterflies in my stomach. We'd never done this, not even all those years ago; we'd never been to an event alone together. We'd never been on a date. Hell… I'd never really dated anyone before in my life.

"Chuck, come on in. Blair's not quite ready yet, but she should be down in a minute," Dan greeted, Aidan in his arms, as he opened the door for me.

"I figured." She was a perfectionist after all.

"Have a seat." He motioned over to the living room where Drew was watching cartoons on TV.

"Hi, Uncle Chuck!" He greeted.

"Hey, buddy," I replied, sitting next to him.

"So, listen, Chuck… this is kind of awkward for me. You and I have had a rocky past, but Blair… Blair has become… well she's become my friend. It's a fact she and I will both deny, but I care about her. So if you hurt her…" He started.

"I won't," I answered simply. I never wanted to cause her pain, ever.

"Chuck!" I heard the pitter patter of footsteps on the staircase as Bella rushed to me, Holly in her hands. She jumped in my lap and grinned up at me.

"Happy New Year, Bella!" I told her.

"Happy New Year, Chuck!" She replied.

Then I heard the laughter and giggles of the four women with whom I'd plotted and planned for this night as they made their way down the staircase to join us in the living room.

"Ms. Blair be down in moment," Dorota informed me.

"She looks like a princess!" Bella told me excitedly.

Then she appeared at the top of the staircase, her brown hair down in those perfect curls I loved. She was a vision in a wine colored gown that showed off her creamy legs. She made her way down the stairs, smiling at me with every step. I got up off the couch, setting Bella down gently, and made my way to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. Then I saw it… the diamond necklace I'd given her for her seventeenth birthday. Those butterflies fluttered anxiously in my stomach, because after all these years she'd kept it. She'd kept a small reminder of me through it all.

"You look… breathtaking," I proclaimed when I was finally able to find the right words.

She blushed a little. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself, Bass."

Then Dorota hurried to the hall closet to retrieve one of Blair's coats to wear out in the frosty New Year's Eve air. She started to help Blair put it on, but I took it from her hands, thanked her, and helped Blair myself.

Aidan fussed in Dan's arms, so Serena came to Dan's side and took him in her arms.

"Someone's hungry," she commented. Then she turned to us, "Have a good night, you two!"

"We will," I assured her as I offered Blair my arm.

"Have fun, Mommy!" Bella called after her mother.

"I will, baby! Dorota, don't let her stay up too late," Blair reminded her beloved maid as we headed downstairs, arms still linked.

Arthur opened the door of the limo for us when we got downstairs and we headed to the ballroom at the Palace. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her the whole ride over, afraid that if I looked away I would wake up and realize this was all a dream. But her hand in mine felt warm, felt real. After a longer trip than usual, due to the crowded city streets, we arrived at the Palace, where the paparazzi snapped pictures of the mayor and his wife, along with the other numerous socialites that were arriving in their own limos and town cars. Blair drew in a deep breath. She was nervous; the two of us arriving together would be a scandal. I started to think that maybe she didn't want this… maybe we should've just done something more private for New Year's. But then she turned to me and smiled. She leaned in closer to me, my head tilting instinctively as our lips met.

When she pulled away I told her we could go somewhere else, just the two of us. I only wanted to be with her. I'd be content to stay right here in this limo, with her lips on mine.

"No, this is perfect," Blair told me, smoothing my hair down where her fingers had just been. Then I heard Arthur at the door, opening it for us. I climbed out first and then extended my hand to Blair. The photographers went wild at the sight of us. We'd be all over the society pages the next morning. I must admit I did feel a certain amount of pride knowing that she'd be on my arm for the whole world to see.

"Mr. Bass!"

"Ms. Waldorf!" The various members of the press all begged for the perfect snapshot. And Blair and I gave it to them. We posed perfectly, my arm around her waist, her arm on my back before we headed inside.

"I'll take your coats," the staff offered as we got closer to the ballroom. The notable members of society gaped at us as we entered the room. Blair had done an exquisite job with the lighting and décor; it was like a scene out of one of her favorite old Hollywood movies.

"Blair, you look gorgeous." Kati, Isabel, Penelope, and Hazel quickly appeared, their husbands trailing behind them, complimenting her on her dress and necklace.

Then it seemed that all of New York was making their way over to us, offering their compliments to the both of us.

A woman I didn't recognize, kissed Blair's cheek

"Blair, you look stunning! Is that one of your mother's originals?" she asked.

"Oh, thank you, and yes, it is," Blair replied.

"I simply must call you next week! I'd love to have a full interview with your mother for the February issue." She commented.

"That's Margaret, she's the new editor of Vogue," Blair whispered in my ear. After that more and more people, many from the fashion world I didn't know, greeted us both. It seemed that we weren't the scandal we thought we'd be. Nate and Blair's impending divorce was old news; the gossip mills had new and more exciting stories.

"Did you hear? Carter Bazien walked in on his girlfriend and his chauffeur!" Penelope informed Blair as we all sipped drinks and chatted. Blair faked it well, but I knew she was tired of their petty gossip.

"Dance with me?" I asked, as I sat my drink down and offered my hand to her.

"Of course, excuse me, ladies," She informed her minions as she took my hand and I led her to the center of the dance floor.

* * *

I'd forgotten how good of a dancer Chuck was, as it had been ten years since we'd danced on this very same ballroom floor at cotillion. We twirled around; our right hands joined together, my left on his shoulder, his left resting on the small of my back. I hadn't felt this good in such a long time, but I still felt that horrible nagging in the pit of my stomach. Tonight was perfect… he was perfect… and I was a liar. I lied to him every moment I didn't tell him the truth.

"Chuck, promise me whatever happens between the two of us, you'll never just pack up and leave again." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"I have no intention of going anywhere, Waldorf, unless you're coming with me," he answered, placing a kiss against my neck. I couldn't help but smile when he used my original moniker. Here he was, promising to stand by me. That's all I'd ever wanted from him. But my doubts and fears continued to play over and over again in my mind, tears started to well up in my eyes. How would he react if I told him the truth? Would he be angry? Would he revert to his old habits and find solace at the various bars he used to frequent? Would this second chance at happiness I was hoping for fall apart at the seams? My head ached at the various horrible scenarios running through my mind. I had to get out of there, I had to get away.

"I don't deserve you," I told him quietly. I pulled away from him and turned away.

"Blair!" I heard him call after me as he tried to grab my hand. But I managed to squeeze between the couples that crowded the dance floor more quickly than he could.

I rushed into the hallway and headed for the elevator. I had no idea why… it's not like there was a room upstairs I could return to. Chuck was the only one I knew who maintained a permanent residence here; the remodeling of his suite was just completed a week ago. But before the heavy doors could close, a panting Chuck appeared and slipped in.

"You made me promise that I'd never run away again, and here you are running away from me," he commented, pressing the emergency stop button and moving closer to me. Fantastic... I was now alone with him in a tiny, confined space. I backed up against the mahogany paneling, allowing my tears to stream down my face freely, tears that had been stored away a decade ago.

"Blair, please tell me what's wrong," Chuck begged, cupping my face in his hands.

I was so tired of holding back the truth from him. If the two of us had any chance together at all… I needed to tell him the truth. Now was the time… the time to tell him exactly what I'd wanted to all those years ago.

* * *

Everything was fine… it was better than fine… at least until Blair had run away from me on the dance floor. This time I wouldn't give her time to get away from me like I had the night of cotillion. The truth was, I would follow that woman to the ends of the earth if I had to.

"Blair!" I called after her as she disappeared in the crowds of happy couples on the ballroom floor. I ran after her as she bounded towards the elevator, her sparkling silver heels clicking all the way. I was completely out of breath as I jumped in the elevator behind her. I made some comment about her running away from me as I pressed the emergency stop button. I would keep her in here all night, claustrophobic as she was, if I had to. I needed to know what the hell was going on.

"Blair, please tell me what's wrong," I pleaded, holding her face in my hands as she pressed her body back against the paneling of the elevator wall.

"Why are you here?" She asked, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"What do mean? I'm here to be with you," I told her, dumbfounded at her question.

"No," she pushed away from me. "Why? Why are here with me after all these years? Why not back then? When I needed you the most!" she shouted.

Was she seriously asking me why I'd left? I left because of her! When I'd searched for her after cotillion and she'd been with Nate, it felt like someone had literally stabbed me through the heart. I couldn't stand to stick around and watch their perfect, little fairy tale life play out in front of me.

"Why did I leave? I went looking for you at cotillion! I wanted to apologize! But when I found you… you were heading into a room and kissing Nate!" I snapped back.

She let out a loud sob and shook her head.

"It was a mistake! I was angry! He was there… but I didn't really want him… I wanted you! I went to your suite that night to talk to you! To be with you! But you were already gone! I even went to your father's room looking for you and he showed me the note you'd left!" She cried, more angry tears falling down her tear-stained face.

I was stunned… I couldn't speak. She'd wanted me… she came looking for me. It all made sense now.

_I'd landed in Monaco, drowned my sorrows at the resort bar, and woke up the next afternoon with a splitting headache. Then it occurred to me that I hadn't called my father when I'd arrived… he would be pissed. I dug my phone out of my pants pocket; there were dozens and dozens of missed calls and voicemails… all from her. I was so angry… so bitter… so jealous of my best friend that I deleted them all without reading or listening to a single one. I wouldn't reveal our little secret and ruin her "epic love story" with her perfect Archibald prince. I quickly found my father's number on my contact list and waited for him to answer._

"_Chuck? Are you alright?" my father answered._

"_I'm fine," I huffed._

"_Son… are you in trouble? The legal team will get you out of anything you've managed to involve yourself in," he grumbled._

"_No… it's not a legal issue. I just can't stay there anymore… I'd rather stay here," I explained._

"_I'm not exactly pleased… but if you think it's best and you can behave yourself better than you do at home… I'll allow it," he commented._

"_Thank you, father." I laid my pounding head back on the soft pillows._

"_The Waldorf girl came to see me. She was looking for you. She seemed rather upset…" my father began._

"_Father… I don't ever want to talk about Blair Waldorf again," I told him sternly. She'd come in person to make sure I wouldn't tell Nate about our little secret. Well… she had nothing to worry about because I had no intention of ever speaking to Nate or her again._

My father respected my wishes and never mentioned her again. But that didn't stop Serena from calling constantly for a few weeks after I'd left, pestering me to call Blair. But then her requests stopped… and she never asked me to contact Blair again. How could I be so dense? She'd wanted me… she'd picked me… but my mind had been too clouded by scotch and jealously to realize it. I pulled her against me and crushed my lips against hers. She responded for a moment, but then pulled away.

"After you left… and didn't return my messages… after the holidays… I… I found out I was pregnant," she confessed, wrapping her arms protectively across her body.

I felt a lump rising in my throat. She'd needed me… and I wasn't there for her. She'd been carrying my child… our child.

"I miscarried…" She stared down at the ground at the admission.

Moisture started to cloud my vision. Visions of a little girl with Blair's dark curls came to mind. She'd had to deal with that loss without me. I'd abandoned her when she wanted me… when she needed me.

I moved towards her and pressed my forehead against hers. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry," I told her, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist. "If I'd known… I would've been on the first plane back to you."

"I thought… I thought you left because you didn't care about me. I didn't know you'd seen me with Nate… I wanted to talk to you so bad. I wanted you to tell me everything was going to be okay when I found out I was pregnant. But then when I lost our baby… and you were still gone…I just went on with my life. I pretended everything was fine, when inside, I was falling apart," she told me, her tears wetting both our faces.

"Blair… I stayed away and didn't return your calls because I couldn't bear for you to be with him. I… I loved you… I've never stopped loving you," I replied, allowing a single tear of my own to fall.

She brought her lips to meet mine, pulling away only long enough to tell me she loved me too. Once I'd finally told her those three little words, I couldn't stop telling her. I told her over and over again as I kissed her lips, her neck, her cheeks. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I carried her over to the button panel of the elevator, pressing the button for the eighteenth floor.

After all these years, as the clock struck midnight, we were finally truly reunited in my suite.


	9. Where The Story Ends

Wow! So I never ever intended for it to take me this long to update. I'm so sorry about that, but my life got really hectic at the end of the school year and moving back home for the summer has been, well, interesting lol. Summer job hunting is this bum economy has been occupying my time (and it's a painful process).

I was so happy with the Gossip Girl season finale! C and B finally had their happy ending :)

This chapter brings my very first fanfic to a close. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I couldn't have done this without my wonderful beta, Ellie. She's been so amazing and helped me so much with my writing.

I have a couple ideas for new stories that I'll begin working on soon. Eventually I may even write a sequel to this one (if you guys are interested... let me know!).

Please read and review! I know I've left you guys hanging for a while, but I'd really love to hear your opinion on how everything is wrapped up. The title for this chapter is borrowed from The Fray's "Where The Story Ends" and the italicized lyrics at the end of the story come from Coldplay's "Till Kingdom Come."

* * *

_Chapter 9 – "Where The Story Ends"_

"Chuck! Don't you dare come in this room! The last thing we need is any more bad luck today!" The soon to be Mrs. Bass ordered through the heavy wooden door at St. Patrick's Cathedral.

For the life of me, I still couldn't figure out why Blair had insisted on getting married in this church. While it was an architectural wonder and conveniently located across the street from The Palace, neither one of us was Catholic. Hell, neither of us really followed any religion. But as soon as I had slipped the engagement ring on her finger she began prattling on and on about getting married at St. Patrick's. I quickly learned that trying to talk her into another venue was impossible. Queen B always gets what she wants; and everyone else, her king included, knows that any effort to change her mind is futile. And today my queen was utterly displeased. The wedding of her dreams was on the brink of disaster… thanks to a priest who had very suddenly come down with a horrible stomach flu.

"Blair, everything's going to be fine," I attempted to assure her.

"Fine! How the _hell_ is everything going to be fine? Our priest is tossing his cookies in the bathroom as we speak!" she snapped.

"I've got my people working on it. Considering the number of Catholic churches in this city, I'm sure it won't be long before they find us a priest." My entire personal staff was busy calling every Catholic church in the five boroughs. They would find someone. I was sure of it, because I offered a hefty raise to the first person to find my bride a priest.

"We're supposed to be getting married in _twenty_ minutes! There are over 300 guests expecting this wedding to start in twenty minutes! _Twenty_!" she screeched.

I once again attempted to assure her that everything would be just fine, but I was failing miserably. She launched something heavy at the door when I suggested that we'd just be fashionably late.

"Mr. Chuck! Mr. Chuck! Everything okay! Mr. Greg found a priest and sent car to bring him here!" Dorota rushed over to me, informing me of the good news excitedly. Apparently it would be my personal assistant going home with the raise.

"See, Blair, I told you everything would be fine," I reiterated. Dorota hurried back down the hallway, chasing after Bella and Drew. Our flower girl and ring bearer were far more interested in playing tag in the hallway than performing their required wedding duties. Then I heard Blair sob on the other side of the door.

"Blair? Are you okay?" I turned the doorknob slowly and peeked inside. She had her back to me, but I could see where she had ripped open a pack of tissues and was dabbing delicately at her eyes with them.

"You're not supposed to see me before the wedding. It's tradition," she lectured. Ignoring her, I closed the door and made my way toward her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"We've never really been very traditional." I chuckled. She turned in my arms to face me, the layers of her strapless, hand-beaded ball gown, one of Eleanor's creations, swishing with her movements. The Erickson Beamon necklace rested on her neck. She was always beautiful, but today she was absolutely stunning. And today, she would officially be mine.

"That's true," she agreed, laughing a little, but her eyes still glistened with tears.

"So what's wrong? We'll have our perfect wedding, there's no reason for those tears," I told her, kissing her forehead gently.

"I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because… everything's perfect." She smiled before kissing my lips tenderly.

She pulled away and continued, "I was going to wait a while to tell you… but I have news."

"News?" I asked.

She picked up something on the table beside us and held it in her hand.

"We're having a baby, Bass." She grinned. I glanced at the object in her hand, a white stick with two little pink lines clearly visible of the indicator.

"We're having a baby," I repeated. It took a minute for me to fully comprehend her words.

"We're having a baby!" I said again, this time more enthusiastically. I cupped her face with my hands and pressed my lips against hers. Ten years ago, the idea of being someone's father would've terrified me, but today it was the most amazing news I'd ever heard. Someone cleared their throat and I looked up to find Eleanor and Lily peering in the room from the hallway.

"The priest will be here shortly. Charles, you need to go take your place," Eleanor explained.

"Of course," I answered. But before I left, I turned to Blair and kissed her again.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear as I placed my hand over her stomach.

She smiled as she whispered back, "We love you too."

* * *

I was making him nervous. The grip Chuck had on my hand tightened with every anxious tap of my Marc Jacobs flats on the hideously colored carpet. With the amount of money Dr. Warren raked in from the Upper East Side's expectant mothers, he could certainly afford to redecorate this outdated atrocity of a waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bass, Dr. Warren will see you now," the nurse announced. I walked with Chuck, our hands still joined together, to the examination room. Today was our first sonogram, it was the first time we'd get to hear the baby's heartbeat.

We were both silent as I slipped into the hospital gown and lay down on the examination table. My fingers tapped furiously as he moved to stand beside me.

"Everything's going to be fine," Chuck told me, placing a protective hand over my belly. He'd been telling me everything was going to be fine for three months now. But given my miscarriage in high school and the miscarriages I suffered after Bella, I was just so terrified of something going wrong. I didn't think I would ever get over it if something happened to this baby, so I followed Dr. Warren's orders to the letter; I took pre-natal vitamins and ate every bite of the healthy meals Dorota prepared for me. Hell, I'd even started going to a pre-natal yoga class with Serena twice a week. Chuck and Dan swore that Serena and I had secretly coordinated our pregnancies, but it was pure coincidence.

"I know," I choked out. These damn hormones! They were making it increasingly more difficult to keep my cool. He placed a sweet kiss on my lips as Dr. Warren entered the room and greeted us. We chatted for a few minutes about how everything was going. I'd wanted to strangle that doctor when he commented on how big I was for only being three months along. I knew that was a good thing, it meant the baby was healthy. But it was still a blow to my ego to be reminded of the fact that slowly but surely I was growing to resemble a beached whale. And it didn't help when that husband of mine actually chuckled at the Dr.'s comment. But one icy glare in his direction and I could see the panic in those chocolate eyes of his, as he began furiously backtracking; reminding me that I was as beautiful as ever. Finally chitchat was over, and it was time for what we'd really come for. The doctor squirted the clear jelly over my stomach and began moving the sensor around. I held my breath, waiting for the steady pace of my baby's heartbeat to soothe me.

"Hmmm… that's surprising," Dr. Warren muttered.

"Surprising?" Chuck and I blurted out at the same time. I could feel the fear start to course through my veins.

"Here," He moved the sensor over and the steady lub-dub noise filled the room. Only… there wasn't just one heartbeat… but two joining mine.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bass, I'm happy to tell you that you're expecting twins," Dr. Warren explained, and showed us on the monitor where both babies were positioned. I felt tears start to prick at my eyes, relief finally washing over me as the two strong heartbeats continued on.

"Twins!" Chuck smiled and I could just imagine the thoughts running through his mind. He was probably congratulating himself on knocking me up with not one baby Bass, but two.

"Congratulations," Dr. Warren told us both and he shook Chuck's hand. When we returned to the limo, Chuck actually hugged Arthur.

"Twins!" he'd told him, a proud and un-characteristically goofy smile on his face.

As we rolled through the city streets, Chuck's ever present hand returned to my belly.

"Go ahead, I know you're dying to say it." I smirked at him.

"Say what? That Chuck Bass is just so damn good in bed, he got you pregnant with two babies, instead of just one?" He smirked back.

"You're ridiculous." I laughed. I wouldn't bruise his ego by reminding him that the father's talents in the bedroom had nothing to do with the occurrence of twins.

"No, Mrs. Bass, I'm irresistible," he insisted as he grasped my face, moving so my lips met his. I moaned deep in my throat, and I could feel him grin. Damn, he _was_ irresistible. I thought I heard him growl as we continued our steamy make-out session, but I soon realized it was actually my stomach.

"Chuck, I'm hungry," I told him as he nibbled on my neck.

"Mmm…" He muttered back as he continued to leave a trail of kisses along my neck. It was a sensation I was thoroughly enjoying, but then my stomach growled again loudly.

He pulled back. "You're really hungry?" he asked.

"That's what I just said!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"Oh," he frowned.

"What did you think I meant?" I asked him, my eyebrow rose in curiosity.

"I thought… you were hungry for me," he answered, with a cocky smile.

"Steak first, ravishing later," I told him, placing a peck on his lips.

Chuck rolled down the divider separating us from Arthur. "Arthur, call the Palace and tell them to have our usual table ready. My babies want a steak," he explained, rubbing circles on my belly.

* * *

The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day, as I stood by the gate of Bella's elementary school. All the nannies eyed me closely; it was rare to see a stepfather actually picking up their child in the Upper East Side. Usually Dorota would be here, waiting patiently for Bella and her sandy curls to appear, but today was a special occasion.

"Chuck!" I heard her call, as the swarm of children began descending the front steps of the Dalton school. She rushed over to me, and I pulled her in for a hug.

"Did you hurt your hand?" She asked, eyeing the splint on two of my fingers.

"I broke my fingers," I explained to her. Well, technically, Blair had broken my fingers. Today I learned it was very dangerous to tell Blair Bass, while in labor, to squeeze my hand as hard as she needed to. I had no idea how hard that actually was until I'd heard my own bones crack.

"Where's Dorota?" Bella asked as she examined my fingers closely.

"Dorota's at the hospital with Mommy," I answered.

"Did the babies come?" She asked, wide-eyed and excited. She was ecstatic about becoming a big sister, and had been anxiously awaiting their arrival all these months with us.

"Yes, the babies and Mommy are all doing fine, and they want to see you," I told her, a genuine smile spreading across her lips. She gripped my hand, the one without my broken bones, as we crossed the street and hopped into the limo. She was literally bouncing up and down the entire ride to the hospital, so excited to finally meet her little brother and sister. We finally arrived at the hospital and made our way to Blair's room. Bella peered nervously inside, and smiled at her mother.

"Come in, sweetie," Blair told her, and Bella hurried to her mother's side, gazing at the tightly wrapped blue blanket in her arms. Dorota smiled as she handed me the squirming pink bundle she'd been holding, and my daughter's dark eyes stared up at me.

"Bella, this is your baby brother, Cameron," Blair told her.

"He's so little." Bella giggled.

"And this is your little sister, Victoria," I told her, as I sat down in the chair beside Blair's bed, my little girl relaxing in my arms as she snuggled closer to me.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked, and she quickly nodded. I motioned for her to come closer, and pulled her to sit on my lap. Very carefully I placed the baby in her arms, and helped her support her little sister's head. Victoria seemed upset by the movement and let out a loud wail, which of course only encouraged Cameron to join in.

Bella quickly began to soothe her sister. "Don't cry, Tori," she told her, and soon the baby relaxed and her tiny fingers wrapped around Bella's pinky.

"Tori, I like that," I told Bella, and glanced up to see Blair smiling back at me as she gently rocked Cameron in her arms.

After a few hours of familial bonding, including visits from Blair's parents, Lily, a very pregnant Serena, and Dan, the hospital was quiet. My children, with their matching tufts of dark hair, were fast asleep in the nursery. I had stood there for a while, watching the rise and fall of their little chests, for never in my life had I seen something so fascinating. But the events of the day had left me tired and weary, and I made my way back to Blair's room. When I'd left her to check on the twins, she'd been fast asleep, but she was awake now, propped up in bed.

"There you are." She yawned and rubbed her eyes. I climbed into bed next to her and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"They're fast asleep," I told her.

"That won't last long. They'll be waking me up at all hours of the night when we get home." She traced lazy circles on my chest, her eyes drooping a little.

"Waking us up," I corrected her.

"You're going to get up at 3 in the morning with me?" she asked, doubt evident in her voice.

"Of course I am," I answered without any hesitation. I fully intended to be the father I never had growing up, and that meant being there for everything, every step and misstep along the way.

Blair gazed up at me. "I love you, Chuck Bass."

"I love you, Blair Bass," I told her, placing a kiss on her lips as she drifted off to sleep in my arms.

* * *

"Mom, how do I look?" Bella asked, spinning around in her flowing, champagne colored cotillion gown. Half of her sandy colored loose curls rested on her shoulders, while the others were pulled pack from her face. She was sixteen and absolutely stunning.

"You look gorgeous," I told her, trying not to let her see the tears rising in my eyes. My little girl was all grown up. Well, she was almost grown; she was a junior at Constance.

"Really?" She grinned, twisting the Vanderbilt ring around on her right ring finger. Nate had given her the family heirloom for her sixteenth birthday, and she wore it everyday. Nate wasn't exactly father of the year, as he had missed so many important milestones in her life and had let her down more than a few times, but she would always forgive him. Bella was far more forgiving and kind than I ever was.

"Yes, really!" I assured her. I made my way over to my jewelry box, carefully opening the bottom drawer and searching for a very specific piece of jewelry.

"Well, Tori, what do you think?" Bella asked, as she struck a pose for her little sister.

"You know you look pretty! You just want Derek Baizen to notice!" Tori teased, as she cuddled Holly, a full-grown cat now, close. Tori's dark waves, the same color as Chuck's, shook as she giggled.

"Shhh! Don't let Chuck hear you! He can't stand Derek!" Bella shushed her as I found the diamond necklace and carried it towards my eldest daughter.

"Derek just reminds him of himself at that age," I explained. Chuck was in denial. He refused to believe that our little Bella was growing up, and that she was dating. More specifically that she was dating Derek Baizen, who had a reputation nearly as notorious as Chuck did all those years ago.

"You're letting me wear your Erickson Beamon necklace?" Bella asked, stunned. She had begged me to wear it to various events before, but I'd denied her requests. This was one piece of jewelry that was so precious to me; it couldn't just be loaned out for some random event. But tonight my daughter would enter the Palace ballroom as the lead debutante, and just as I did, the Erickson Beamon necklace would rest on her neck.

"Of course. I wore it to my cotillion, you'll wear it to yours, and one day Tori will wear it too," I explained, as she pulled her curls out of the way and I clasped my most beloved piece of jewelry securely on her neck. She turned to face me, a genuine Bass grin across her lips. She may have been an Archibald by birth, but she'd been raised in a house full of Basses, and her mannerisms proudly flaunted it. A knock on the door interrupted our little family moment.

"Ladies," Chuck peeked in the door, "We've got to get going or the lead debutante is going to be late." His eyes grew wide as he saw Bella. "Bella… you look… you look beautiful… like your mother."

"Thank you," Bella replied as she rushed over to her stepfather's side to hug him.

"But Daddy's not here yet," Bella frowned, flipping open her cell phone to check for missed calls.

"I'm sure he's just running a little late," I tried to assure her. I would strangle that Archibald if he let Bella down tonight. The girls were to be presented to society by their fathers before their dates escorted them to the dance floor. Bella would be so embarrassed if Nate wasn't there for the presentations.

"I'm sure your mother's right. I'll go call him now," Chuck assured her too, but before he left he motioned for me to follow him. My long satin, black dress brushed along the steps as I walked with him.

"No! Take the shot! Take the shot!" I could hear Cameron yell at the television in the living room. 9 years old, and my son already knew far more about basketball than I'd ever know in my lifetime. Chuck loved taking him to Knicks games, Cameron looking like a mini Chuck clone as they sat side-by-side, courtside, of course.

"Nate, I don't give a damn if there's a crisis in D.C. You have to be here tonight, you can't let her down," Chuck scolded Nate on the phone, his free hand balled into a fist.

"Let me talk to him," I told Chuck, and he handed the phone over.

"Nathaniel Archibald, if you're not going to make it, you need to call your daughter right now and tell her that yourself. Don't leave Chuck and me to do your dirty work," I snapped, as Nate begged me to just tell Bella he couldn't make it. Cameron must have heard me, because he suddenly appeared, a serious expression on his face that perfectly mirrored his father's. Chuck cleared his throat, and motioned towards the staircase, where Bella and Tori were standing. Bella clutched Tori's hand, as they walked towards us together.

"It's okay, Mom," Bella told me, though I knew she was lying. I gave her the phone.

"Father," she greeted, quiet for a moment as Nate spoke to her. "I understand, it's alright really," she finally answered. Chuck and I frowned at each other, because it was evident from the expression on her face that Nate's absence was absolutely not okay with her. Bella snapped the phone shut after saying her goodbyes, and held back the tears that were welling up in her Archibald blue eyes. Tori reached for her sister's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Bella turned to her and smiled lightly, then pulled her in for a tight hug, and then turned to Cameron and ruffled his dark locks.

"We better get going," Bella mumbled.

"Wait! Let me get family photo!" Dorota scurried in from the kitchen, camera in hand. She quickly took several shots of the five of us, even Bella, flashing out best Bass grins.

"Now come, Miss Tori and Mister Cameron, let's bake cookies," Dorota told her two youngest charges after our little family photo shoot had ended. The twins excitedly began arguing over what type of cookies to make as they rushed to the kitchen.

"Save me some, you two!" Bella called after them, and they giggled as they promised they would.

"Dorota, Serena's nanny will be dropping off Charlotte in a little bit for her sleepover with the twins," I reminded my beloved maid before she hurried after Cam and Tori. Charlotte was Serena and Dan's youngest. Charlotte and the twins were joined at the hip, and Serena and I jokingly called them the three musketeers.

The ride to the Palace was longer than usual because the neighborhood was overrun with other limos and town cars also making their way to the event. When we arrived a crowd of photographers began wildly snapping photos of the three of us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bass!"

"Miss Archibald!"

"Won't the king and queen give us a smile?"

The last call got my attention. Chuck and I had been dubbed the king and queen of New York in the write up about our wedding in _The Times_. Ever since then, anytime we appeared on the society pages they'd always refer to us as the king and queen. It was a title the both of us secretly loved. I grinned at my husband and he grinned back, wrapping an arm around my waist as we allowed our public a few good shots. But we soon made our way inside with Bella, walking with her to where the other debs were being placed into position for their presentations.

"Bella! You look beautiful!" Lily, who was serving as the cotillion chairwoman quickly moved to hug her.

"But, where's your father? We're going to start the presentations in a few minutes, and you're first," Lily informed her, a worried expression marring her features. Bella hesitated for a moment, but then a smile spread across her lips.

"Don't be silly, my Dad's right here." She linked her arm with Chuck's. Chuck grinned proudly at her, and I couldn't help it, but tears started to prick at my eyes.

"Of course," Lily smiled back, and the worry disappeared from her face. "Let's get you two in place, Derek's already taken his," she explained. I could see Chuck tense at the mention of Derek, and Bella and I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.

"Alright you two, I'm off to find Serena and Dan," I kissed my daughter on the cheek and placed a quick peck on my husband's lips before making my way off to the balcony.

"Blair!" I heard my best friend call and I made my way through the crowd to the front of the balcony where Serena and Dan had saved me a place.

"Oh, Bella looks gorgeous!" Serena gushed, as she came into view.

"And Drew looks so handsome!" I complimented. He was escorting Julia Nichols, Kati's daughter, and Bella's best friend. He'd grown into quite the good-looking young man. Lily greeted the audience and began the presentations.

"Isabella Anne Archibald, daughter of Senator Nathaniel Archibald and Blair Bass. She is presented tonight by her stepfather, Charles Bass. She hopes to follow in her mother's footsteps and attend Yale's prestigious school of business, and upon graduation join her stepfather at Bass Industries. She will continue to live on the Upper East Side and dedicate her time to children's charities."

Derek Baizen quickly appeared, and bowed before Bella and Chuck. Bella gave her stepfather a quick kiss on the cheek before courtesying and moving to link her arm with Derek's.

After all the presentations had been made and the debutantes had their customary first waltz, everyone was free to join them on the dance floor.

"There you are, Mrs. Bass." Chuck grinned when we were reunited.

"Dance with me, Mr. Bass?" I asked. The band began playing an old song I used to like.

_Still my heart and hold my tongue_

_I feel my time_

_My time has come_

_Let me in_

_Unlock the door_

_I never felt this way before  
_

"Always," he replied as he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. We twirled around the dance floor, whispering the latest gossip to each other.

_And the wheels just keep on turning_

_The drummer begins to drum_

_I don't know which way I'm going_

_I don't know which way I've come_

_Hold my head inside your hands_

_I need someone who understands_

_I need someone, someone who hears_

_For you I've waited all these years_

_For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come_

_Until my day, my day is done_

_And say you'll come and set me free_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me  
_

I heard Bella laugh and turned my head to see her dancing with Derek. He was a dead ringer for a young Carter Baizen. His hair was just a few shades darker and skin just a little more tanned.

"I'm going to say something," Chuck started, a stern expression suddenly coming across his face.

"About what?" I was confused by his sudden mood change.

"Do you see where that boy's hand is?" Chuck huffed, motioning over to Derek.

"Since when is Chuck Bass a prude?" I joked.

"He's basically cupping her ass in public!" He hissed, his forehead creased in concern.

"His hand is no lower than yours is," I insisted.

"That's different! You're my wife, and she… she's…" he struggled to find the right words.

"She's your little girl," I finished for him. "You still think of her as the five year old you have to rescue and protect from the world, but she's growing up."

_In your tears and in your blood_

_In your fire and in your flood_

_I hear you laugh, I heard you sing_

_I wouldn't change a single thing_

_And the wheels just keep on turning_

_The drummers begin to drum_

_I don't know which way I'm going_

_I don't know what I've become_

"I know." He sighed.

"And before you know it, we'll be at cotillion with Tori and Cam. And she'll be dating someone you don't approve of, and he'll be dating someone I don't approve of." I laughed, but it was true. The twins were growing up so fast.

"Oh no, Mrs. Bass, I have seven years before we'll be here with the twins. And who says I'll allow any boy near my Tori?" Chuck half joked, with raised eyebrows.

"Well you can't let Cam date, and not allow Tori to do the same," I insisted.

"Cam's a boy, that's different," Chuck grumbled.

"Chuck Bass! That's sexist!" I huffed. His hand resting on my lower back inched a little lower.

"And you're sexy," he smirked as he crushed his lips against mine. I would have to fight him on my daughter's future right to date later, because the only thing on my mind was his irresistible lips. I pulled away from him for a moment.

"Do you have the key to the suite with you?" I gazed up at him with hooded, love-drunk, eyes. Chuck and I kept his old suite at the Palace for when we needed to get away, just the two of us.

"Of course," he replied, a wicked smirk spreading across his lips as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the ballroom, to the elevator. We quickly hopped in the elevator and he pulled me close to him, kissing me as he hit the button for the eighteenth floor.

"I just love how you think, Mrs. Bass," he mumbled against my lips.

_For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come_

_Until my days, my days are done_

_And say you'll come and set me free_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me_

The End.


End file.
